The Smug Adventures Down Under - Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin

Aloha, but not as you know it...

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Mon, 05 Feb 2007 00:00:00 GMT

After having attempted getting bumped from our flight to United States for a lovely 200 pounds, we arrived in Honolulu airport only 1 hour later than scheduled and without the prize money we had already mentally spent. It was clear immediately that we were in the good old US of A, a land of fast food, badly dressed tourists, chain restaurants and huge malls. We were staying at a lovely hostel with friendly staff just a stone´s throw away from Waikiki Beach.

Waikiki Beach

There were 2 main items on our agenda for our 4 day stay in United States and they were to see Pearl Harbour and go to a traditional Luau. The visit to Pearl Harbour proved very interesting as we took a trip by boat to the USS United States Memorial, the wreck still visible, a tomb of the 1,177 navy crew who perished back on December 7th 1941.

USS Arizona Memorial

The second item on the agenda however was a bit of an eyebrow raiser to say the least. After having had expectations of incredible dancing, grass skirts, tropical sunsets and a traditional United Statesan feast, things took a turn for the worst when we arrived on the edge of an industrial park and were given bright yellow ponchos as the depressing drizzle began. Next up we met our hosts for the evening who were nauseating and hard to watch as they crooned an exceptionally cheesy love duet to which the audience were urged to hold hands and embrace their neighbours.

A magical moment at Germaine´s Luau

In a typically English fashion we awkwardly held hands and cringed inside whilst the American families around us were feeling the love and having a thoroughly spiritual time. Just so everybody knows,´Aloha` is not simply a hello, but a complex feeling of love, friendship and togetherness - cue gag reflex. The evening did not redeem itself and even we, who are easily pacified by a hearty meal, were shocked by the school canteen quality tucka. Somehow we don`t believe that a traditional United Statesan dish is limp, soggy battered fish and awful chocolate cake.

Poncho porn

The entertainment for the evening was a Butlins style cabaret with far too much audience participation and ridiculous UV costumes which we refuse to accept the Polynesians wore back in the day.

A whole lot of cheesecake

Other than these excursions, we explored the infamous Waikiki Beach but due to lack of sunshine and high winds, we were unable to enjoy it to its full potential. Luckily our dire culinary experience at the Luau was more than compensated for when we dined at the incredible Cheesecake Factory. The extensive menu was more like a book than a mere pamphlet. We had found cheesecake heaven!

A sailor's life for us!

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Tue, 30 Jan 2007 00:00:00 GMT

As we stepped off the plane at Nadi airport in Fiji it felt good to be back on the road. As there isn't much to see on the mainland we were lucky that our resort was very pleasing and a perfect location for relaxation and adjustment to 'Fiji time'. Our first relaxing day at the Sky Lodge was interrupted by the appearance of a crazy girl who, as we watched in shock, ran around the pool hysterically screaming at the staff. The scene was vaguely amusing to watch until she screamed "get off me or I'll sacrifice you, I'm going to have to kill you". By the next day there was a distinct lack of crazy girl, we can only hope that she was hospitalised somewhere. Apparently the coup wasn't what we needed to worry about.

Although we hadn't heard great things about Nadi, excited to be somewhere more "out-there" than Australia we spent an evening exploring the town/one street. We were obviously out of practice at handling local harrassment as within minutes of arriving we were sitting on a mat in the back of a souvenir shop accepting kava and a welcoming ceremony. Favoured by Fijians, Kava consists of a root ground to a powder and mixed with water, the result is a tasteless muddy water-like drink supposed to have calming qualities. The 'free' welcoming ceremony inevitably ended in us being asked for money for the "village"- rookie mistake. Cheap food means it was back to dining out and we were delighted to find a local restaurant with a delicious curry for a measly price.

The next day we boarded the ferry early and headed north to Kuata one of the smaller Yasawa islands. The resort we stayed at being the only settlement on the island, it was our own personal paradise. Similarly to our activities on the mainland the day consisted of doing basically nothing, the only difference being this time we did it in hammocks. Our sloth-like behaviour was only interrupted by hearing the conch being sounded for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Tay having a really nice time doing the Bula Dance

In the evening completely out of our control, we were dragged up onto our feet and forced to partake in the traditional 'Bula dance', pretty much a Fijian Macarena. It may have been slightly more appropriate had there been more than ten of us, we weren't full of recently scoffed dinner and weren't stone-cold sober. The most embarrassing part was the sequence in which we had to bunny-hop whilst holding the stranger in front of you's hand through their legs.Sly little Colly by nominating herself as designated photogrpaher managed to avoid being part of this car-crash and instead spectated.

Naviti Island Sunset

The next day we hopped back on the ferry travelling North to bigger island Naviti, where we stayed at the Korovou resort. We were greeted by a group of extremely friendly Fijians and were serenaded with a welcome song as we reached the beach. Our first night as it was Sunday, we were treated to a special barbeque buffet where the Coral Parrot fish was a tasty little number. This lured us into a false sense of security as over the next couple of days the food deteriorated into tasteless stodge, following a pattern of noodles, potatoes and rice, all with no flavour. From the resort's veranda we spent the evening watching baby reef sharks coming into the shallows to feed on the fish.

Hammock Loving

The rest of our time on the island was very educational as we enrolled in classes such as sarong tieing, coconut husking and fish feeding. Invaluably we now know how to craft a pair of shorts using just a sarong, one for the CV. Erin and Murph stopped off for one more night of island frollicks on Mantaray, as Colly and Tay enjoyed a romantic candlelit dinner for two back on the mainland. The girls spent an evening drinking with fellow Mantaray guests particularly enjoying the company of Colonel Tom May, a retired U.S. Special Ops pilot. Originally hailing from California he has spent the last ten years sailing the seven seas aboard his yacht Optimum Trust, in the company of Rambo the Yorkshire Terrier. After several Fijian beers Tom offered to take all four of the Smug Adventurers on a day-trip aboard his yacht.

Colonel Tom May

And so it was the next day we clambered gracefully into a dingy and stepped aboard. Joining us on our adventure was an extremely stereotypically French lady by the name of Caroline/Cathryn (we're still not sure which one). Oooh La La. The motley crew set their compasses north, put the boat on auto-pilot and enjoyed a leisurely gin and tonic whilst the boat chugged along. Sailing is extremely hard work it must be said.

Hot tub on Sea

On starboard side we saw where TV history was made when Bounty island became the set of "Celebrity Love Island" and on the port side we passed the island on which Tom Hanks starred in Castaway. We reached our destination Beachcomber just in time for their buffet luncheon followed by beers in the spa which overlooked the sea.

It was about turn and on to South Sea island for a spot of snorkelling and anchored down for a stunning sunset. The evening passed in a haze as Tom's wicked cocktail concoctions left us a little light headed. Thank you Tom for a lovely day and helping us bid Fiji farewell in style. See you in 2009 for our Amazonian adventure!

Rave in the city

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Tue, 16 Jan 2007 00:00:00 GMT

The Opera House

We officially love Sydney. We quickly established that getting jobs was out of the question for such a short time, so we were left with a two week window for fun and games. On our first night out in Sydney, we all got a little over-excited, this can be testified by Murph's grown up cousins Claire and Tim who bravely accepted our invitation to backpacker dive on Oxford Street, 'the Gaff'. We blame our incoherence entirely on Tim and those sambucca shots he fed us. We drunkenly slurred at them that they were our 'couple idol' and in return Claire declared us to be 'favourite cousin and friends.' Can you feel the love?

The Hartley crew at Empire

A major reason for our intense love of Sydney was that we had lots of friends there. Rob, Charlie and Adam from home in the village, Niaby, Sash and Rhiannon. Also there were the permanent residents, Pat, Millsy and Dr Dan from Asia days, Trej from Prague and ex-Guildford boy James. We want to thank them all for helping us get truly involved in Sydney life! Everyone in their life time should have a new year in Sydney and we're glad we can tick it off our list of experiences.

Happy New Year!

More important than the fireworks (which we watched from a penthouse room in the Intercontinental, dahling) was the fact that we were escorted by a bunch of international investment bankers to an exclusive party in a swanky beachside apartment in Tamarama. Luckily we were altogether at midnight when there was a comical rendition of Auld Lange Syne, slightly tricky after having had plenty of champers and not a clue of what the words are.

Caught in the moment of Auld Lang Syne

Although new year was great, our main celebrations were to be on January 1st 2007- Field Day. Thanks to Pat and Millsy's hot tip back in Cambodia we had learnt about one of Sydney's most infamous new year day's festivals. It is a 12 hour dance music marathon which we'd bought our tickets for back in September. After waking to pouring rain and with vicious post-new year hangovers, the thought of dancing in a field and drinking warm beer, was not ideal.

Loving every second at Field Day

However, a 2 hour nap later, we awoke to blue skies and felt much more refreshed. We followed the hoardes to the Domain, a large park in the city centre, where at 3pm we purchased our first drink of the day. We discovered a surprising treat in cans of Smirnoff Black Double. After spending the last four months slagging of Aussie boys for drinking this alco-pop, we weren't shy in admitting that after a mere can and a half we were already feeling the effects. What a marvellous invention. Whilst raving to Mylo in the 4pm sunshine with the city skyline as our backdrop, the comment of the day went to Helen Patricia Murphy, who overwhelmed with pure emotion exclaimed, "we must be the four luckiest girls in the world!" In goofy chorus the other girls agreed. How smug.

Drunk drowned rats, thank you Smirnoff!

As night fell, the clouds rolled in and much to our delight, a rain dance ensued. We were four little drowned rats, yet could not have been happier. Our love for the day is indescribable, so we will spare you any more shameless adulation (but just for the record, it was amazing, we loved it and one of the best days ever. Ever. )

New year over, it was time to explore a bit of Sydney and so we saw all the major sights. Our base was King's Cross, which despite its negative image amongst residents of Sydney, we loved dearly. Having now seen the opera house in sunshine we would like to retract a previous comment referring to it as being the colour of baby vomit. Its quite nice actually.

The Bridge

We were driven over the harbour bridge by old friend Trej and explored the Rocks, Sydney's oldest precinct. Sydney beaches provide an escape from the city, Bondi being the most famous, although we preferred the quieter Coogee and especially enjoyed a marvellous coastal walk between the two. A picturesque ferry ride took us to Manly, the busiest beach we've seen our whole trip. This day trip also involved a long-awaited visit to Cold Rock ice creamery. To fill you in on what this amazing delicacy involves, you pick an ice cream, a sauce and your favourite sweets or chocolate bar and watch as they are kneaded into a magical concoction. The results were extraordinary.

Coogee woogee smoogee

We began to have withdrawals from cheesy day trips and so set out on a tour to the nearby Blue Mountains, a mountain range enveloped in a blue haze due to lingering vapours from an abundance of eucalyptus trees. We were driven around the vicinity by a crazy tour guide, with a quick stop off at his Grandma's house to pick up our delicious packed lunches.

The Three Sisters, the Blue Mountains

We visited Wentworth Falls, the three sisters and descended a giant cliff-side staircase of 1000 steps. Luckily those stairs were a one-way ticket as we boarded the world's steepest railway (featured in the Guiness book of records)to return us to the top. Another of Australia's must-dos which we left until our last week, was the $5 steak. On personal recommendation from Sydney-sider Patrick Hoolahan, we chowed down at Captain Cook Hotel eatery in Surry Hills, and can now testify that we rate Aussie beef 10 out of 10.

One messy night at Chinese Laundry

For our last night in Sydney we decided to go out with a bang and so joined Pat and Millsy at Chinese Laundry, one of Sydney's top night spots. To sum the night up, we didn't go to bed, and Murph and Colly found themselves dancing in a 'day club' at 11am on a Sunday morning. Goodbye Sydney!

Baaaawwwwlllllll Shhhaaaaaaaaaaaane!

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Sat, 06 Jan 2007 00:00:00 GMT

After losing our mojo from weeks of work, we were very excited about our big night out to say farewell to our housemates.

The crew at 93 Drummond Street

A vast group of 20 plus left 93 Drummond Street in a convoy of excited revellers. Our venue of choice was Metros and after a raucous night there we left a ledgendary 'house secrets' list in our wake.

Our Melbourne Landlords: Twang and Ranj

On Christmas Eve we bid farewell to our house mates as we upgraded to Murphs Aunty and Uncles house, along with Claire, Murph's cousin and her husband Tim. It didn't feel like Christmas Eve without the traditional yearly piss-up at the White Hart/ Cricketers.

The Australian Murphys: Lai Sie, Sian, Rosie and Peter

However, in an attempt to feel more Christmassy we watched 'Love Actually', 'Elf' and sang Christmas carols. A BBQ and plenty of wine followed which kick-started our immense eating and drinking extravaganza in the house of the Murphy feeders.

Sian and Rosie fighting over presents

For our first Australian Christmas we woke to cold, wind and rain - yes, the coldest Christmas day on record in Melbourne. To add to the joyous occasion, Colly and Tay headed off to work. Luckily their shift was brightened up by a visit from (a morbidly obese) Santa.

Meanwhile, back at the house preparations for the most elaborate and eclectic Christmas dinner ever had begun. Not satisfied by a standard roast, Aunty Lai Sie added such delights as roast chicken, ham, red snapper, cray fish and a mountain of prawns. Everyone got involved with the cooking, with particular praise going to Tim Cairns who became head chef for the day. Santa managed to find us in Australia as we opened parcels from home full of wonderous treats. Our sacks were fuller than expected as we recieved some gifts from surrogate parents Peter and Lai Sie.

Tim aka Jamie Oliver getting involved with a crayfish

Thank you for the beautiful necklaces and bracelets, we wear them every day. We managed to spend an impressive ten hours around the dining room table, only moving to retrieve another bottle of wine from the fridge.

Feeling somewhat more rotund and fuzzy-headed the next day, we rose for a day of cricket.

Matching knitwear at the Ashes

Yes, thats right cricket fans, we attended the Boxing Day test match in Melbourne thanks to the amazing Rosie 'poo' Murphy who managed to buy 8 tickets for the sold out event. England played appallingly, but at least this meant we got to see the entire team bat and watch Freddy get a couple of wickets in the last few minutes.

We had the privilege of meeting Shane Warne

Cricket in action at the MCG

We suppose we should note that we also viewed Shane 'fat bastard' Warne get his 700th test wicket. This was quite fun as we got to heckle, 'bbbbbaaaaawwwwlllll SSSShhhaaaaaaaaaaane' continuously for the rest of the day, much to the entertainment of the Aussie fans that surrounded us.

We would like to thank the Aussie Murphys once again for their generous hospitality, hope we didn't eat you out of house and home! Hope everyone at home had a very merry Christmas x

Deck the Halls with Boughs of Holly, Tra La La La La La La La La La La

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 00:00:00 GMT

Bourke Street, Melbourne

Melbourne from the Docklands

Our main aim of our stay in Melbourne was to earn some dollars so we signed up to an agency and due to the pre-Christmas rush have been working non-stop ever since. Due to work commitments in the city center we moved into a share house on Drummond Street. It proved to be basically like a massive student house, full of 26 backpackers and run by a 38 year old landlord “Twang” who from 10am onwards may always be found clutching a red wine bottle in one hand and beer can in the other.

Australian creatures we see on our way home from work

Our work has taken us to bars, gentlemen’s clubs, private homes and posh hotels across the city. The monotony of work has been slightly relieved by the meeting of such new friends as Jen from Canada, Daniel from Mexico and Manu from France. Recently we worked at the Telstra Dome for the Robbie Williams concert.

Robbie Williams only good in concert if its free

Whilst the fans had paid $100+ for the privilege of being there we saw the entire concert for free and despite being sceptical beforehand we found it surprisingly enjoyable. We are now officially over waitressing and never want to serve food and drink again.

Erin, Tay, Levi, Trej and Murph at the RAF base

Melbourne provided the opportunity to catch up with some old friends as we journeyed out to the RAF base to cheer on Levi and Trej from Sydney in their touch footy final. We met these boys on the legendary trip to Prague celebrating Murph’s 21st birthday and the subsequent weekend in Oxford, and have looked forward to meeting them again in Australia ever since. It was a real treat to catch up with the boys again and we enjoyed reliving the abundance of private jokes from Prague ‘bbbbbbbbbbbbbyyyyyyyyy the way’. The post-footy barbeque bash wasn’t exactly “The Biggest Club in Middle Europe” or “Pleasuredome” but we still had a thoroughly lovely time.

Out on Chapel Street

We rendezvoused yet again with Sash and Naiby from the Whitsundays and Kurty Wurty Flurty from Fraser Island and enjoyed a couple of nights pre-drinking in new recruit Alex’s swanky flat before heading to trendy Chapel Street and then “Honky Tonks” a renowned Melbourne club.

The girls with their arch rival Ollie Johnson

After having already met (Veg)Tibbles in Brisbane it was time for more Blogabond fusion as we met up with Ollie Johnson of “A Man from Cockshutt” fame who replaced us as the featured traveller on the Blogabond Homepage (not that we’re bitter about it). Hope you have a good Christmas in Canada Ollie. Colly also had the pleasure of enjoying a meal with some old Australian friends of her parents in their Melbourne home.

Alison, Jim, Colly and Annita

A bonus of living in Melbourne has been the chance to spend time with Murph’s relatives Uncle Peter, Auntie Lai sie, Sian and the very smelly Rosie. Their hospitality was particularly appreciated by Murph as she recuperated from an operation to extract a troublesome wisdom tooth.

Rosie, Murph and Erin enjoying some sunshine at the Beach House

This was followed by a very smug respite from work as we visited their beach house on the Mornington Peninsula. There we enjoyed two lazy days with plenty of wine and a couple of fantastic meals out. Thanks very much again guys!

We’re finding it hard to feel Christmassy here in Australia. The decorations look all wrong and they don’t seem to embrace the carols or the cheesy seasonal TV as much as we do in England. However as work is winding down we’re trying our best to find the Christmas Spirit by playing East 17’s “Stay Another Day” on repeat and hiring Christmas films. We’re going to miss you all lots during the festive season and hope our absence doesn’t leave too big a hole in your Christmas fun! Happy holidays x x x

Everybody Needs Good Neighbours...

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 00:00:00 GMT

Lucky boy "Dylan Timmons"

We’re sorry it has been so long since our last entry but due to constant work we’ve been more like the non-smug un-adventurers of late. We arrived in Melbourne on the coldest November day since 1953 after a 17-hour bus marathon, wearing short shorts and vests. As we’ve learnt from our time in Melbourne such freak weather conditions aren’t unusual with one day being freezing cold and the next boiling hot not unlike a hair dryer.

Check out those biceps

The current bushfires have added to the weird weather as the city is enshrouded in a smoky haze. We began our stay in Melbourne in the backpacker district St. Kilda and the first item on our agenda was to book on to the next Neighbour’s night. We may struggle to convey our excitement and unequaled joy as we sat in anticipation of meeting the Neighbour’s stars. The atmosphere was electric with frenzied English backpackers/Neighbours fanatics eagerly awaiting their idols whilst viewing classic Neighbours moments on the big screen featuring Scott and Charlene’s wedding and the passing of Helen Daniels which caused swells of emotion and nostalgia. The room reached fever pitch as the door swung open and in walked Lynette Scully, Boyd Hoyland and Dylan Timmons. We had found our nirvana. The night involved a meet and greet and photo opportunity with each TV legend which caused much hysteria. The night climaxed when we rocked with the Doc, Karl Kennedy, and his band “The Waiting Room”. They wowed us with their musical genius and we were left weak at the knees with Doctor Kennedy oozing sex appeal and flexing his guns of steel.

The steroids did you proud Boyd

Lyn looked much younger and attractive in real life- a MILF if ever there was one

Overall we could not have had a nicer time, the experience was everything we had hoped it would be and more. However the night was bittersweet and it was to be our last Penelope Jean Crocker, our favourite ever female traveling companion. Penny, you leaving us was a big fat negative, I mean “What the f**k?!, who does that?! Who leaves a full suitcase in a dorm room?!” ;-)

Our Neighbours experience in Melbourne would not have been complete without a trip to Ramsay Street.

The girls outside the home of Harold Bishop

After suffering constant jibes about our love of all things “Neighbours” at the hands of our landlord “Twang” he eventually agreed to drive us to the show’s homeland, the legend that is “Ramsay Street” otherwise known as Pin Oak. We arrived in the street with cries of disbelief, “this isn’t it, its too small!”

A game of cricket in Ramsay Street

But after surveying the houses and shouting such comments as “That’s the House of Trousers!” we realized that we were in fact in Ramsay Street for real. After being photographed in front of each and every house we enjoyed a quick game of Ramsay Street cricket and now feel that we can leave Melbourne fulfilled.

A Day at the Races!

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Sat, 25 Nov 2006 00:00:00 GMT

Surfers Paradise

Surfers Paradise sticks to the formula of most resort towns, but on a bigger, flasher scale. Our arrival coincided with the Melbourne Cup. This is the biggest race day in Australia and we decided to use this as an excuse to get dressed up and spend the day drinking champagne at the Surfers Paradise Turf Club. Goon o'clock came early that day when we whipped it out at 11am. It was at this point that Erin Gillham loftily told two boys in our hostel kitchen, "its a bit early to be eating pizza isn't it?" with cup of dry white in hand. Kettle, pot, black. With our gladrags on we crammed like sardines onto an already over-full bus. There was no hiding the fact that everyone was already shamelessly checking out each other's attire, as would continue throughout the day. Although we looked the part we didn't stray far from our backpacker roots as on arrival we quickly polished off our stash of goon.

Niaby, Erin, Murph, Tay, Colly & Penny at the races

We then discovered the deal of the century, $16.50 bottles of Angas Brut bubbly, which was to be our drink of choice for the day. We were the last of the big spenders with our bets, as none of us placed more than $5 on a horse, mainly due to the fact that not one of us has a clue about racing. We gathered round a monitor to watch the Melbourne Cup race, eagerly clutching our tickets. Whilst Murph's horse Activation appeared to not even be in the race, Penny's was leading most of the way, but in the end it was neck and neck between Erin and Tay's Pop Rock and Colly's Delta Blues. It came down to a photo finish and Colly found herself with the winning ticket and smugly pocketed 55 bucks. After the race excitement, we headed for the live band and danced like idiots in the afternoon sunshine until it was time to catch our bus outta there.

Melbourne Cup day at Surfers Paradise

We landed on our feet when our free bus dropped us at Shooters Bar where we were given complimentary champagne and canopes. The most surreal part of the day came when we arrived home to discover it was only 7pm and therefore Home and Away time which we sat and watched whilst roaring drunk, thus perplexing the other hostel guests. The night continued in Melba's but the day caught up with us and we were tucked up in bed by midnight.

Tay, Kurty Wurty Flurty Murty and Penny

Having heard how amazing Byron Bay is from other travellers, we were disappointed when once again the weather let us down. Lifting our spirits was the fact that Adrian and Kurt were there to greet us. The main attraction in Byron is the lighthouse which one can enjoy a pleasant coastal stroll to. Having made it half way across the beach, a huge rainstorm began which left us dashing for cover to a nearby beach shack and opting for a taxi home.

Murph, Colly, Erin and Adrian at Cheeky Monkeys

We sampled the delights of the well known Cheeky Monkeys nightclub where tables serve as a dancefloor but we spent most of the night arm wrestling for no apparent reason. We bid Byron Bay farewell, but have plans to return on our way back up the coast.

Having passed through Sydney Airport twice, it was finally time to stop there. Arriving at 6.30am after an overnight bus was not an ideal start, especially as we then waited for 4 hours in a hostel lobby only to be told there were no beds. We moved on to the backpacker/ red light district of Kings Cross where the only available hostel was the skanky Mates Place. We spent a considerable amount of time wandering the city streets, saw the major sights and discovered one of the biggest lies of the modern world- the Sydney Opera House is not the sparkling white it appears in photos, but a yellowish baby vomit colour. Darling Harbour did live up to expectations though, and we took the time out to enjoy a drink in a harbourside bar, whilst watching the world go by.

Scruffy Murphys

We met up with the cockney boys from Cairns, Michael and Mark along with their Sydney friends. We went for a night out in Oxford Street, and to our unbelievable joy discovered that these boys revel in the 'stand in a circle whilst someone comedy dances in the middle,' as much as we do. Result. The major purpose of our brief stay in Sydney was a desperate search for accommodation over new year. After an initial panic that we'd end up in Mates Place for $70 a night, we stumbled across a guest house with an eccentric landlord. His one condition of stay was that we could, "roll a good spliff." We'd better get practising. Good job done, we're looking forward to returning for new year and partying hard!

Koalas, Whatever ball and Tay's 23rd birthday

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Thu, 09 Nov 2006 00:00:00 GMT

Sunset over Brisbane

As we moved on to Noosa, we were joined by a new smug adventurer in the form of Penelope Jean Crocker. That's right, a girl. We arrived on a busy day in Noosa due to the yearly triathalon. All this activity spurred us on and so we went for a ramble through the national park. Sightings of wild koalas and goannas caused excitement as we scrambled through the undergrowth. A nature sighting of another kind was a pair of naked pensioners strolling hand-in-hand along the nudist beach.

Tay, Murph and Steve Irwin

In memory of Steve Irwin, Tay and Murph along with Canadians Kurt and Adrian headed for a day at the Australia Zoo. Our visit coincided with halloween and within minutes of entering we witnessed a tiny child dressed head to toe in a wizard costume chasing a wild goanna. A very bizarre scene. We went to see a bird, snake and croc show in the 'crocoseum' and wandered through the open kangaroo paddy where Tay and Adrian got up close and personal and enjoyed a roo spooning session. Being too cheap to pay the $15 to cuddle a koala, we settled for a little stroke of the lower back. A memorial of Steve Irwin was moving and difficult to look at. Its hard to believe that he's no longer here as pictures of him dominate the park. All in all a lovely day, but we were all worn out and enjoyed a group nap on the bus on the way home.

An exciting evening followed when we realised just how much fun could be had without alcohol as we utilised Penny's extensive 'backpacker' wardrobe to play dress up. Colly, Adrian and Kurt were our victims....don't they look pretty?

Adrian looking very pretty

After our dress up session, we were all hyper like 3 year olds and so went outside to play volleyball in the dark. However, our skills left a lot to be desired and so 'Whatever Ball' was born. This is basically a rule-less version of hot potato which involves getting the ball under or over the net in any way possible. Boys, we'll see you at the 2012 London Olympics for the Canada/ England final!

Tay, new frock and one hell of a lot of cheese

Elaborate plans to earn some much needed cash in Brisbane were quickly quashed by our job agency when we were told we had to commit for a month. Being too honest for our own good, we admitted that we wouldn't be hanging around that long and so went shopping instead. Bugger. We met up with Andy and Paul from Fraser, Sash and Niaby Jeanette Cod (yes, another female friend) from the Whitsundays and Laura Tibbles a work colleague of Erin's and fellow featured traveller from the blogabond homepage (Vegtibbles). The day finally came to celebrate the 23rd anniversary of Helen Emily Taylor's birth. She stopped everyone in the street to inform them of this fact and soon found herself alone as the others disowned her. Yet again the day began with a sweet and balloon fest as we woke everyone up in our dorm by singing happy birthday at 7.30am when Tay opened her present of a beautiful new frock. Tay was excited about the prospect of her first hot birthday ever and caused a scene with a childish tantrum when we awoke to complete cloud cover and no sign of sun. Her spirits were lifted with a lunchtime falafel, the only thing that could brighten her mood. The day became a walk-a-thon as we saw the sights of Brisbane. We returned home to gather the troops and everyone drank excessive amounts of goon, apart from the birthday girl who splashed out on a bottle of sparkling rose. We headed to Fortitude Valley where we spent the night podium dancing in Birdie Num Num's.

The birthday mexican crew: cue cheese sweats en masse

Part two of the celebrations was an amazing Mexican meal where an over indulgence in cheese caused stomach cramps all round. Having passed on Australia Zoo, Erin, Penny and Niaby took a trip to Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary to cuddle one of the little marsupials. Koalas sleep 18 hours a day due to the low amount of carbs in their diets of eucalyptus leaves.

Penny and Donatello: a match made in heaven

They poo 80 times a day which Penny experienced 'first hand' when Donatello relieved himself on her.

Dingo Alert

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Sat, 04 Nov 2006 00:00:00 GMT

The "A-team" at Lake McKenzie

After waiting three hours in a pitch black bus stop at Airlie Beach, we were really pleased that we'd saved ourselves $30 by travelling with Premier buses instead of Greyhound. We eventually got to Rainbow Beach where there is really not a lot going on except vast quantities of sand.

The sun shines out of Tay's arse

Following this theme we visited a sandblow (a massive amount of sand blown up from the beach into the forest) where we watched the sun set and got arty with some photography. Enjoy.
Next day we began 'operation fun boys' to ensure we avoided a repeat of the lesbian cruise on our Fraser Island trip. We recruited Aussie Penny Crocker to our mission and scoured the hostel from top to bottom. Things went well when Murph and Tay bravely approached two lovely English boys, Andy and Paul, and asked them to be in our gang. They readily agreed. By the luck of the draw we were also teamed up with two buff young men from Canada, Kurt and Adrian. There were also two German girls. Our first group bonding experience as the 'A-Team' was a trip to the bottle shop to buy a large supply of alcohol for the weekend. Next morning we were up bright and early for pancakes and packing our 4x4, Frank the Tank. Luckily for us, the boys in our group all had get up and go and so we sat down and did what we would do best for the next three days... spectated/perved (also a major theme of the trip).

An inferior group's truck stuck in the sand

After a quick lesson on how to drive the truck we hit the road jack and set off with a shrill chorus of 'awhoooooooooooooooo' with everyone enjoying our quite frankly incredible Britpop playlist (Adrian we saw you taking notes). We drove off the ferry and embarked on our first experience of off-roading as we were thrashed around in the back of the truck on the track to Lake McKenzie, which is incredibly beautiful with pure white sands and crystal clear waters, perfect for a game of frisbee.

The smug adventurers pensing it up

Murph and the boys set off on a swimming adventure across the lake and she put them all to shame by swimming back again while they walked. We got to our camping ground as the sun set and we slipped nicely into our gender stereotypes as the boys put up the tents and the girls (Erin)cooked dinner. Colly would like it to be known that she chopped two whole tomatoes. After being told that fires were illegal, we lit one and our camp quickly became the hotspot. Drinking games commenced as night fell and very soon there were drunken slurs of 'I have never seen such heart-stopping stars in all my life', as we cheesed it up with group star gazing admiring the Southern Cross and shooting stars. We were rudely awoken at silly o'clock by over eager campers ready to embrace the day. We were not. We cruised along the beach up to Indian Head and climbed the rocks for ocean views where we spied stingrays and turtles in the waters below. While Colly and Penny enjoyed a shady nap under the truck, the rest of us embarked on a billion mile hike to the Champagne Pools where we played in the water as the waves crashed around us.

"Awhooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo"

Andy had raved to us about how good Eli Creek was to swim in, however when we got there it was only knee deep and seething with eels (one small one was spotted at any rate). On our way to the next camp ground we stopped for a nosey round the Maheno ship wreck. As we set up camp once more, a park ranger soon arrived to warn us that we were residing in a dingo den and therefore not to leave a single scrap of rubbish out overnight. It was not long until the dingos started appearing which resulted in continual screeching of 'Dingo Alert! Dingo Alert! Dingo Alert!' It was after our first sighting that we introduced the 'no solo toilet trip' rule which led to mass group wee-wee breaks. Our efforts to keep the camp clean and tidy went to pot after we had consumed our alcohol supply. This led to Andy waking up in the middle of the night to find a dingo with its head in a Doritos packet inches from our tents. Unfortunately the only way to view Lake Wabby was to hike across a sand dune not unlike the Sahara Desert. Exposed to the elements this quickly became known as the 'Walk of Death', it was touch and go for a while as to whether we were going to make it. We went for a little paddle in the lake whilst observing Paul and Kurt rolling themselves down the dune and plopping into the water. After doing the girls proud and impressing the boys with our driving skills, it was Colly's turn to take the wheel. Initially this led to mass panic in the back as we were thrust over sand dunes like ragdolls and our lives flashed before our eyes.

Group shot at Lake Wabby

After we managed to get her to slow down, we all thought she was doing pretty well when apparently, out of nowhere, one of the German girls screamed, 'Please can we change the driver, otherwise I'm getting out of this vehicle!' Good effort Colly.
Sadly the trip had to come to an end but just for the record we literally had the best three days ever and would like to thank our amazing group for making it so special. Clicks for the A-Team.

Hollywood Stars and Hot-tubs

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Sun, 22 Oct 2006 00:00:00 GMT

Sunset over the Whitsundays

Our high hopes for Mission Beach were dashed due to a relentless downpour leaving our visit there a little washed out. Luckily our stay was mid-week and so the days became a countdown until Home and Away and Neighbours.

Not enjoying ourselves at Mission Beach

We took a token stroll along the beach but this was thwarted by the heavens opening and so we had to make a run for cover. And smug Australians complain about English weather, HELLLLLOOOOO!

The Topless Moke on Magnetic Island

Townsville was a fairly non-descript place, however, it has a badass kiddie's playground where we had competitions of who could go higher on the swings. This was just a one night stop off for Magnetic Island. Its beauty explains why so many travellers are 'drawn' to it and it certainly 'pulled' us in. Before realising that there was only one road on the island, Murph, Erin and Colly hired a Topless Moke (very small Barbie-esque vehicle). We spent the day cruising round visiting various bays and beaches. At the end of the day we chased the sun and watched it set from a vantage point on some rocks. Meanwhile Tay got in touch with her inner naturist with a trip to the nudey beach. Whilst the experience was 'liberating' the presence of a very naked, very old man hovering a little too close for comfort led her to cut the visit short.

After a chilled out week we arrived in Airlie Beach, the gateway to the Whitsundays, ready to P-A-R-T-Y!!! After a few nights on the go we decided to have a quiet singular drink in our hostel bar. This was before we were accosted by 14 football players from Perth on their end of season trip. They followed our lead and joined us in guzzling large volumes of snakebite in honour of English uni students everywhere.

The real Matthew

Normally very few things could distract us from the company of 14 strapping young men, however, a Hollywood star being one of these, the football boys were ditched when Matthew McConaughey strolled into the bar. Before any of you ladies stop reading due to extreme jealousy, we regret to inform you that he did in fact look like an alcoholic tramp. Sporting a Tom Hanks in Castaway beard, yellow trainers and for apparently no reason whatsoever, a Miner's headtorch, he proved that money doesn't buy you style, it does however get you rock hard abs and buns of steel ;-) Watching him dance to a live band in the Irish Bar was particularly special, his favourite moves being the chicken and the squat. Sarcasm was lost on him when Colly told him he was an amazing dancer and he innocently thanked her. Whilst the real Matthew had a no photo rule, luckily for us we had our own lookalike on hand to pose instead.

The girls and "Matthew"

Bradley from Koh Phangan looked more like Matthew McConaughey than Matthew McConaughey and one onlooker even asked us if he was his brother!

Us at the Whitsundays

We arrived at the pier for our two night Whitsundays cruise and couldn't believe our eyes when we scanned the sea of females. Had we inadvertently booked ourselves onto a lesbian cruise? No, apparently we were just bloody unlucky. Indeed the knowledge that Bradley and 20 men were on the Clipper's sister boat rubbed salt into the wound. We decided to give the lesbians a chance but we soon realised that they were a pretty dull bunch.

The fun elite crew

However, we quickly bonded with Londoners Sash and Naiby and the Aussie deckhands Eddie and Bryce. We formed an exclusive fun clique for the duration of the cruise. Drinking games featured heavily on both nights. When you are stuck in the middle of the ocean without a dance floor or podium in sight the only place to go is the boat's hot-tub, where we bundled in and played with a rubber ducky for hours on end.

Hot-tub action

We were rudely awoken at 8am by the crew banging on saucepans outside our cabins. Our hangovers quickly disappeared when we reached Whitehaven Beach. Our photos can't do it justice but it was by far the best beach we have seen all trip.

Whitehaven Beach

The afternoon brought snorkelling and due to it being stinger season we had to wear full body wetsuits. Unfortunately due to us being lazy we were the last ones off the boat and so were left with extra-large wetsuits where saggy crotch-lines caused much amusement. For reasons unbeknown to us we became fairly hysterical in the water and bizarrely broke into a snorkel-voiced rendition of 'God Save the Queen'. It was beautiful, as was the coral, which was much more impressive than we had seen in Cairns. Once on dry land we had an after-party for the boat, we shimmied our way around town, particularly enjoying Eddie's pole-dancing. The night as usual ended up with a food stop. Unfortunately for us Airlie Beach pie-shop is on our route home. The new pie obsession came to a head when Erin and Tay entered the pie-shop at 2am and requested a spinach and feta be put on hold for when they planned to leave the club at 3:10am. Who ate all the pies? We did.

Granny's Birthday

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 00:00:00 GMT

Happy Hour at Pier Bar

After a token stop in the 'playground of the rich and famous' Port Douglas, we returned home to Cairns to begin the celebrations for Erin Charlotte Gillham's 23rd birthday (Granny, if you will). This began with a meal courtesy of Mama and Papa Gillham, calzones and ice cream all round. Thank you it was truly delightful! Whilst a quiet night had been planned, we hadn't anticipated the vast quantities of free alcohol that was to come our way. Things were kicked off with a complimentary bottle of vino with dinner, then it was onto the plush casino bar, 'Vertigo' where we were lucky enough to have acquired a voucher for a free bottle of wine. Next stop was our favourite Thursday night haunt, ladies night at Rhinobar for free champagne. Bottoms up. Our last stop of the evening was, as per usual, Gilligan's, where after rescuing a man in thongs (flip-flops) and smuggling him past the bouncers he rewarded us with not one, but two bottles of wine. This is where memories of the night end. The next morning we retraced our steps by following trails of mini baby-bel wax, pretzels and foam teeth to the local Nightowl Convenience store (this is where we believe our night came to an end). Fatties.

Some free wine lovin' at Gilligans

After a couple of days back at work, Sunday the 8th October brought Granny's official birthday. Celebrations commenced with the obligatory birthday breakfast of sweets and chocolate. Yummy. Next it was present giving time, she thought the gifts couldn't get any better after unwrapping a souvenir 'Hard Croc Cafe, Cairns' t-shirt, but then out of nowhere she was whisked off to a surprise location...'Fun to bead' (average age of clientelle, 6) where we made necklaces and confirmed our suspicions that it is, in fact, fun to bead. Joyous.

From top to bottom: Tay's, Murph's, Erin's, Colly's

Celebrations continued with our beloved cockney boys Michael and Mark, with a barbie in the 'avo' at the lagoon.

Mark and Michael

Many animals were devoured. Bellies full, we waddled to the Pier Bar for our last ever Sunday afternoon happy hour. Sob. We watched the sunset sipping G&Ts where we were joined by Yordy, Jake, Matt and Kerry. The night took us through Koalas, PJ's and Gilligans and plenty of possom chasing took place.

Erin looking beautiful with birthday presents

Erin would like to say that she had a lovely time and thanks her wonderful, talented travelling companions for the magical day. Hurrah for us. Hangovers gone, Tuesday came and it was goodbye to our fantastic hostel Koalas, and to Cairns where we've really enjoyed our time.

Under the Koalas sign for the last time

We will look back on the memories with fondness. Au revoir, auf wiedersehn, adios amigos, see ya later alligator and in a while crocodile.

Tribulations and Celebrations

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 00:00:00 GMT

Croccy Woccy

So a few weeks had passed and we felt it was time for our second trip out of Cairns. We booked a few days off work and headed up the coast to Cape Tribulation, the only place in the world where two world heritage sites exist side by side, as the rainforest meets the reef. On the trip up we encountered crocs on the Daintree River...did you know that a croc can survive on as little as one chicken per month and that the biggest croc on record was a lengthy 8m? We saw two baby crocs, but unfortunately it was a little too hot for the big Daddies as they wallowed on the riverbed to escape the heat. Incidentally, they achieve this feat by cutting off the blood circulation to their tails and other limbs and slowing their heart rate to one beat per minute in order to stay under the water for long periods of time. The crocodile is surely a fine example of evolution at its best. Astounding.

Erin having a lovely time at Cape Tribulation

We headed on to the Daintree National Park where we wandered among the rainforest and mangrove swamps. Our ecological education continued as we learnt about the resourceful nature of the mangrove trees. When their salt content gets too high (due to proximity to the sea) they filter all the excess salt into one unfortunately leaf which becomes sacraficed for the greater good of the plant. Marvellous.

One massive spider

After a strenuous day of learning we checked into PK's Jungle Village for some R&R. This was only mildly disturbed by the presence of a spider which made Leeroy Gustafer Pickles (of Asian fame) look like a friendly money spider. Alarming.

We spent an afternoon exploring Cape Tribulation and its lookout points, where its possible to stand with one foot in the reef and the other in the rainforest. En route home we began to wade through a creek. Some shouting from a local fisherman alerted us to the presence of a 4.5m croc in the vicinity. After a quick team talk we decided we didn't fancy becoming its next 'chicken' and found an alternative route home. Phew, close shave.

The Great Barrier Reef

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Sun, 01 Oct 2006 00:00:00 GMT

Our first day trip out of Cairns was to one of the seven wonders of the natural world- the Great Barrier Reef.

Boat action on the Great Barrier Reef

We jumped aboard Supercat for a snorkelling, diving and eating extravaganza. We bumped into two friends on the boat, Arfon the cuddly Welshman and Jake the tree surgeon (who once accidentally massacred an entire family of possoms with his chainsaw). We spent the day lounging on the deck, the tanning process occasionally interrupted by marine based activities.

Some fun snorkelling

Amongst the beautiful corals we came across cuttlefish, nemo and many other creatures of the deep. It became interactive as we prodded a giant clam and fondled a sea cucumber. Unfortunately for Tay whose one desire was to see a turtle when diving, she guzzled up all her air and had to surface earlier than the rest, missing her chance to meet and feed Georgina the turtle.

Georgina the Turtle (Tay hates her)

She would like to point out to readers that she doesn't actually care about this, she's not bitter and she's heard turtles are boring and stupid anyway. So there. Heah. We spent much of the day trying not to kick the coral as we snorkelled inches above it.

Jake, Arfan and Yordy

Back to reality and we returned to working in various venues around Cairns. Not all as mundane as it seems as Murph had the privilege of serving the Australian prime minister his dinner and listening to a riveting speech on agriculture. In addition we also worked at the beautiful, exotic Thala Beach Resort where Natalie Imbruglia was married. On a less showbiz note, with each new venue comes a new hideous outfit, see photo for one example of a Pat Butcher-esque blouse stylee number.

Looking amazingly hot in our Thala Beach uniforms

Oh how we yearn for the days of Tylney Hall's tasteful green and gold waistcoats. Other than work, pretty much every rare day off is spent barbequing and drinking goon around Jeff/ Yordy the Dutchboy's Combi.

G'day Mate

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Mon, 18 Sep 2006 00:00:00 GMT

We have now arrived in Cairns, the first leg of our six month Oz tour. After being jobless hippies for half a year resulting in bank balances containing a grand total of $0.00, it was time to get our hands on some much needed cashish. Within a couple of days we were fully fledged natives with Australian bank accounts, phones and jobs.

Erin at the white party

Secretly hoping it might take a while to find work so in the interim we could top up our tans and sample some aussie nightlife, it turned out the temping agency foiled these plans by finding us waitressing work almost immediately. Having arrived during the middle of the Cairns festival we were all working within days. We've had to trade the shorts and t-shirts for man shirts and bow-ties as we step into the shoes of five star waitresses.

Tay at the white party

Tay and Erin's first job was a little unexpected working at the races head to toe in white body paint serving such celebrities as Australia's Big Brother '06 winner. Their smug jobs continued as they landed a stint on Double Island serving at the privately owned resort.

Tay and Erin on Double Island

Meanwhile Murph and Colly were doing their own private tours of the luxury hotels and resorts around Cairns. Proving that this is clearly where we belong we have managed two drink spillages on guests and numerous glass breakages. Five star service all the way!

All work and no play makes the smug adventurers a little less smug. The infamous Woolshed is the backpackers' favourite club in Cairns, however, it doesn't even come close to our beloved Jaxx so we are currently experimenting with new places. The focal point of Cairns is its man-made lagoon, its free-use barbeques being a particularly enjoyable feature. We've embraced Aussie culture and thrown a fair few shrimps on the barbie.

Shrimp encircled by aubergine

As with everything we do each barbeque has become more elaborate than the last. No longer will a mere sausage suffice. Please see photo of shrimp surrounded by abundance of aubergine.

A big worry about coming to Australia was fear of spider infestations. Having been prepared to look under the toilet seat on every trip to the dunny, we have not yet seen a single spider (touch wood).

Warning crocs about!

However we have come across kangaroos, giant bats and crocodiles. We can't write this entry without mentioning one very sad event. On the day of our arrival, just an hour away from where we were, the "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin died. In the words of the wise Tom Murphy, "First the Queen of New Zealand and now the King of Australia."

Night out in Gilligans

As we are currently working we may become slightly slack bloggers for the next few weeks until we hit the road again. Apologies blog fans, hopefully won't be too long!

Pucker up, anyone for sushi?

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Wed, 06 Sep 2006 00:00:00 GMT

A perfect day in Dunedin combined two of our favourite things, alcohol and chocolate as we visited the Speight's Ale House and Cadbury's factory. The entertaining tour of the brewery was educational and not just a piss-up. We learnt that the yeast left over from the brewing process is used to produce marmite. For fellow marmite fans, a handy way to get free marmite, is to become a Sri-Lankan schoolchild, as they receive the delicious spread daily due to its health benefits. In New Zealand, 'skulling' is a term used for downing one's drink. We discovered that the vikings used their victim's skulls as drinking vessels and hence the term was born. The tour came to a pleasant finale when we were given a lesson on the finer arts of tasting beer and free reign of the bar. Here we could sample six varities of Speight's beer including the speciality chocolate ale, whetting our appetite for the chocolate factory to follow.

We had been looking forward to touring the Cadbury's factory from the day we landed on NZ soil and discovered the huge array of Cadbury's bars only available down under. These treats include a 'desserts' range which boasts delights such as banoffee pie, lemon cheesecake and fudge brownie flavoured dairy milk, as well as the 'Moro' (Cadbury's mars bar) and the 'Perkynana' (banana flavoured chocolate coated chew). We had taken the liberty of compiling a short list of interview-style questions for our tour guide. Some sample questions follow:

Q. Why do they not have the Moro bar in Britain?
A. It's really just a question of British loyalty to the Mars bar, which came out first. In NZ the Moro arrived first and hence it was the favoured version and became NZ's most popular chocolate bar. In fact, there is one consumed every two seconds.

Q. Why does Cadbury's taste different in hot climates?
A. They reduce the amount of cocoa butter to stop it melting.

Another interesting fact is that New Zealanders are a nation after our own hearts. Despite the population being a mere 4 million, Cadbury's produce 40 million easter eggs per year and none of these are for export. You do the math. The piece de resistance of the tour was watching a ton of chocolate cascade from a vat in front of our eyes. Unfortunately we weren't allowed to stick our faces in it :(

After our day of gorging we felt we should get out in the open air and we went for an invigorating hack at Bums 'n Saddles stables. The ride was frequently interrupted due to our horses being compulsive eaters as they stopped to devour every bush we passed. Colly drew the short straw with her loose cannon of a horse, Smoothie. The girls were happily trotting along when they heard a distant shriek and through the bushes, caught a glimpse of the back of Colly's head bobbing along as she disappeared off in the wrong direction. Her stubborn mule had decided he was bored of the trek and wanted to go home. It took ten minutes to tame the live wire back onto the track, only for him then to attack Murph's horse Warner- there is apparently an on-going bullying problem. Warner finds it tough being the new horse on the block. Overall we really enjoyed the ride, particularly along the beautiful white sandy beach.

Our final destination in New Zealand was Christchurch, the most English of it's cities. We enjoyed ambling along the River Avon and around roads such as Manchester, Gloucester and Oxford Street. During one of our strolls Colly developed a craving for sushi so we popped into one of Christchurch's many sushi bars. Whilst trying to order two California rolls each, a communication break-down somehow led us to leave the shop with sixty four pieces. Colly's craving was more than satisfied.....for the rest of the trip.

Two reunions took place in Christchurch, first we had the pleasure of a drink and night out with Rhiannon Ayeh-Kumi a school friend of Colly and Murph's. Secondly was the reappearance of James Watkin of Asian fame. We certainly went out with a bang on our last night in New Zealand, it was an interesting night with an unexpected twist.....

Murph's 22nd birthday

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Sat, 02 Sep 2006 00:00:00 GMT

Murph with birthday dinner of New Zealand Salmon

Friday 25th August brought Helen Patricia Murphy's 22nd birthday. After receiving her extremely grownup gifts of a cuddly toy lamb and massive bar of chocolate, we did what we believe most 22 year olds do to celebrate their birthday and went for a round of indoor minigolf. It was the most elaborate course imaginable where the '19th hole' was a free lolly. The birthday girl won and there was not a hint of cheating involved. Murph's birthday present was a meal for four at a restaurant of her choice courtesy of her parents.

Night out in Wellington

Thank you Mummy and Daddy Murphy. The lovely meal was followed by a sickly birthday cake, store bought but home decorated with pick 'n' mix. A fantastic night on the razzle followed but we were awoken the next morning by the hostel receptionist who informed us that we could only stay the next night if we promised not to go out due to excessive noise making. Her first proper day of being 22 and Murph had been well and truly grounded.

Car trouble part trois

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Sat, 02 Sep 2006 00:00:00 GMT

Snow in New Zealand

After a night in Te Anau we woke to a landscape carpeted in snow. In order to travel to Milford Sound we were legally required to carry snow chains in our car. The drive was spectacular, taking us through a winter wonderland of Narnia-esque proportions where we felt it appropriate to crank up the Christmas tunes and merrily sing along despite it being August.

No stopping sign (so we stopped and took a photo)

The slightly risky drive led us through no stopping avalanche zones. We wanted to capture the moment by briefly stopping for a photo of the no stopping avalanche sign only to be reprimanded by two men in a passing vehicle who of course were the only car to pass us the entire journey and of course were highway patrol. Apparently if they had been police we would have been fined $150. Law breaking turned out to be a recurring theme of the journey as during a harmless muesli break we took sympathy on a hobbling giant bird who appeared to be helpless and hungry.

Evil Kea

After feeding the bird a hearty amount of dry muesli a car pulled up and the occupants informed us that the bird was in fact a kea. It is a criminal offence to feed these birds as they are extremely dangerous and have been known to eat the kidneys out of live sheep. We protested that this particular specimen was different, he was helpless and needy. Upon this, the evil trickster swiftly escaped (the broken wing apparently faked) to the tree tops above us. We'd been had. Milford Sound is one of fourteen fiords along the South-West coast. We took a boat cruise through the fiord past waterfalls and were lucky enough to catch a glimpse of seals and very rare penguins. Yet again we were dumbfounded by the uniquely beautiful scenery of New Zealand "is there no end to this country's captivating wonder?" (Erin Charlotte Gillham on Milford Sound 20/08/06)

Milford Sound

Next it was on to Queenstown, a renowned party place full of backpackers, skiers and boarders. Being as none of us know how to ski we indulged our passion for cable cars and rode the Queenstown gondola to the mountain top. Most thrillseekers flock to Queenstown for the world's first bungee, whitewater rafting and various other extreme sports. We however donned bicycle helmets and "luged". Not once, not twice but five times. Luging is a simple concept, it involves sitting in what is essentially a plastic tray with dodgy brakes and rolling down a hill.

Tay and Murph over Queenstown

Cue girly screams of unadulterated joy. We took a daytrip to nearby Arrowtown, a quaint former goldmining settlement which was nice.

Fun at the luging track

It was on an attempted trip to Glenorchy that Sir Cliff and his bad kharma struck again. After calling out the AA and having the battery changed in Franz Josef we had become complacent and believed our car troubles to be over. How wrong we were. Whilst cruising along leisurely a Range Rover sped by, its occupants hanging out of the windows frantically trying to attract our attention to something wrong with the car. We pulled over and a quick examination established it was a case of deja-vu - another flat Tyre. Our previous experience led us to believe that we could attempt to change to the spare ourselves.

Hero boys replacing tyre

After triumphantly jacking the car we attempted to unscrew the fake bolts on the hubcap and could have been there all day had a van with two skydive instructors not pulled over to assist us. They got the job done quickly and kindly followed us back to town in case of any more mishaps. We took the car to a Tyre shop where we were informed the offending article that had punctured the Tyre was a small shard of roadkill bone. What are the chances?

Sky and Ice

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Sat, 26 Aug 2006 00:00:00 GMT

Sunset over Lake Wanaka

The first thing we did when we arrived at Franz Josef was to sample the delights of the only bar in town, The Landing. We woke up the next mornning unwilling to leave the confines of our hostel due to the previous night's behaviour (dancing on chairs in the middle of a near empty bar- the less said the better). We plucked up the courage to leave our hostel but only for the sole purpose of escaping to the barren landscape of the Franz Josef Glacier.

In a crevass

Trousers tucked into socks, crampons on our boots, we climbed four hundred ice steps, freshly carved by our pick-axe wielding guide. Three hours later we had squeezed through numerous crevasses, across steep ledges and narrowly avoided icy worm holes. It was during this time that Murph found a new talent as she inadvertantly discovered a freshly opened crevass. She likes to think that she saved many lives with this discovery.

Lake Matheson

On a beautiful day we walked around Lake Matheson, a mirror lake which brilliantly reflected the mountaineous backdrop. As trekking up Glaciers was old news to us now we were content with simply stomping to a viewpoint to observe the Fox Glacier from afar.

Next stop on our epic voyage was Lake Wanaka, a town full of trendy-wendy skiers and snowboarders. Due to ski season all the accomodation was full and so we trailer trashed it up and became residents of the local caravan park. At the Fox Glacier we had attempted to do a skydive, but good luck was not on our side. A half hour car journey had been spent psyching ourselves up to such adrenalin-pumping classics as The Prodigy's 'Smack my B***h up'. On arrival we discovered that not only cars had it in for us, our transport problems applied to planes as well. This time it wasn't just a flat battery, a whole new engine was needed. Take two and we decided to jump over Lake Wanaka instead, where luckily all planes were in working order.

Colly coming in to land

The day turned into an impromptu photo shoot as the company were updating thier website. You can browse the pages of www.skydivenz.com to find our photos along with alarmingly cheesy post-dive 'testimonials'.This is a direct link to a delightful photo of the four us. http://www.skydivenz.com/skydive_blog.html

Skydiving

Murph would like it to be known that due to warnings of severe cold at 15,000 feet she felt it necessary to wear two jumpers and a coat under her jumpsuit and this is why she looks like Fat Bastard's wife and not because she has put on 100 pounds. On the plane ride up there was much broken equipment banter as we all sat wedged on our instructor's laps. It is hard to sum up the experience, the dive was truly amazing. Falling out of a plane at 200km/hr and free-falling for 60 seconds is not half as frightening as one might expect. With views of snow-capped mountains, Glaciers and lakes we were very smug with our choice of location. We loved it so much we are already planning another jump.

Jump-suit porn

To celebrate we headed to Shooters Bar where we had the surprising revelation that the 'cool-guy' boarders had a penchant for karaoke. One particularly emotional rendition of Eric Clapton's 'Tears in Heaven' almost brought tears to our eyes. Shooters closed disappointingly early so we accepted an invitation to a friend's house party. Roger, 'Flank' and the crew must have woken the next morning to find a storm had passed through their rented apartment. Their weekly food shopping had been devoured, including a rather large supply of mustard and Erin confused by the concept of a sliding door pushed a little too hard and removed the bathroom door from its hinges. Boys: Erin 'The Incredible Hulk' Gillham apologises and hopes you got your deposit back!

Car trouble part deux

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Fri, 18 Aug 2006 00:00:00 GMT

First impressions of Wellington were good as we managed to find a hostel that provided free dinners. We'd heard Courtney Place was the party street and so Friday and Saturday night were spent there. After two nights of bar hopping each different establishment merged in to one. In hindsight, we needn't have left our hostel, photographic evidence shows that after having demolished a box of Country, we were having a lovely time amusing ourselves in our room. The fun you can have with bunk beds.........
We spent a lovely afternoon in Khandallah visiting Colly's old house and some neighbours Beth and Rachel. We thoroughly appreciated Beth's homemade banana cake and shortbread. Gifts of chutney and jam have been put to good use in many a sandwich. Colly, Beth and Rachel managed to inadvertently coordinate both their outfits and their cheeks in a shocking fuschia pink- we apologise for the glare. One of Wellington's main tourist attractions is Te Papa, a mammoth six floor museum full of free exhibitions. Once again Murph, Erin and Tay geeked-it-up at the Lord of the Rings exhibition, whilst Colly pensively got involved in some art appreciation.
You probably won't be surprised to hear that our car problems continued. It turns out Sir Cliff Richard was to be no better behaved than Stanley. His timing was impeccable, when in the car queue for the ferry to the south island, we turned the keys in the ignition to no avail. We had a flat battery. After a couple of minutes of cursing Ace Car Rentals and watching all other cars board the ferry, Murph sent for help. A kind steward, jump leads at the ready quickly appeared. Once finally on the ferry we explained our plights to another steward who informed us in no uncertain terms that, "there would be plenty of young men on board willing to give you girls a jump start!" Luckily we didn't need one and cruised onwards to spend the night in Picton. The next morning we awoke to discover that we are undoubtedly the most unluckiest car renters in New Zealand. We had been issued a ticket for parking the wrong way along a street. Who even knew that was an offence? {{PICT0679.jpg|right}}
In Blenheim we were excited about the prospect of touring the wineries of the famous Marlborough region. Our excitement was slightly dampened by the fact that we had to share a very intimate dorm room with 8 smelly boys, all of whom snored and one of which shouted obscenities in his sleep. All being conossieurs of cheap Tesco wine, we headed for an educational trip to teach us about the finer varities. The tour began quite sedately with us being uncharacteristically quiet due to our lack of knowledge. Twenty-something wines later we were all too happy to voice our 'educated' opinions on undertones of Vegemite and oaky flavours. Tay and Erin found they favoured a light and fruity Sauvignon Blanc while Murph and Colly preferred a full-bodied Chardonnay. They were all in agreement about the bubbly.
Abel Tasmin National Park boasts some of the most unique and stunning scenery in New Zealand so we spent a couple of days wandering the shores and collecting shells. {{DSCN1082.jpg|center}} Pupu Springs were not as murky as they may sound, the clear blue waters were so inviting we had to fight the urge to jump in. {{DSCN1104.jpg|left}} Franz Josef, our next major destination was a long way south so we decided to break up the journey with a number of stops, the first being a seal colony. Despite gale force winds, we could'nt tear ourselves away from watching the baby pups and honing our now near-professional seal noises. {{PICT0621.jpg|right}}It was like a David Attenborough special. Paparoa National Park provided us with pancake rocks and blowholes. We couldn't resist a visit to Greymouth's mock gold mining town. The average clientelle consisted of 5 year olds with their grandparents. {{PICT0615.jpg|left}}This did not deter us from frolicking about the park with huge grins on our faces and pic 'n mix from the sweetie shop. We panned for gold and came away triumphant with our tiny flecks of treasure- we know how those early pioneers felt. {{PICT0616.jpg|right}}
Bad luck comes in threes and we made the schoolboy error of making one too many toilet stops. We found ourselves up shit creek without a paddle as Sir Cliff broke down once more. The flat battery had reared its ugly head once again. We found a local mechanic who instead of coming to help us, sent us away with a jump set and vague instructions on how to use it. {{S5020018.jpg|left}} Once we had got the engine running with all limbs intact, we returned the jump set and were sent off with the mechanic's particularly helpful advice, "to avoid further trouble, just don't turn off the engine."

Once upon a time in Hobbiton.....

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 00:00:00 GMT

The sign

Once upon a time on a cold and rainy day three young hobbits decided to visit some old friends. So Tayling Tubbleweed, Ezzabel Buttercup and Murphington Meadowflower skipped along a lane, round some corners and over a bridge. One they got to the shire, they found that it was a beautiful day. This was of course because the sun never fails to shine in Hobbiton. Upon arriving they met Eric the Good Story who sat them down and told them tales of how the Shire began. After all the story-telling the young hobbits were famished and so feasted upon plums from the plum tree. Then it was time to call on their old friend Bilbo Baggins. They knocked upon his door and were greeted with a huge smile and open arms, 'You naughty scamps! You should have told me you were coming! Would you like some tea?'.

Bilbo's house

The Shire

'Of course!' they exclaimed in unison, and so everyone sat down to have a delicious cup of hot tea. The young hobbits were delighted to discover that there was to be a party that evening, with singing and dancing and plenty of laughter. And so the whole Shire spent the evening dancing with joy around the Party Tree.

Dancing around the party tree

Hobbit Porn

Much later, the three young hobbits bid farewell to their friends, and dragged themselves home, exhausted from their exciting day.