The Smug Adventures of Murph, Tay, Colly & Erin - Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin

We Have Moved

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Thu, 10 Aug 2006 00:00:00 GMT

Hi All,

Some people have told us that it takes a while for our blog to upload, so we have started a new chapter for New Zealand to try and make it faster.

If you use the short link www.blogabond.com/murph and have no problems keep doing what you're doing. But if you find things slow, try accessing the site by using the above short link and click on The Smug Adventures Down Under, which appears on our home page.

Things lost/ stolen/ broken in Asia

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Thu, 03 Aug 2006 00:00:00 GMT

1) Erin's camera
2) Murph's camera
3) Tay's camera
4) Colly's camera
5) Murph's camera #2
6) Tay's camera #2
7) Erin's phone
8) Tay's phone
9) Colly's phone
10) 2 purses
11) 1 passport
12) 1 Ipod
13) $300 US
14) 1 credit card
15) 1 debit card
16) 1 driving licence
17) Infinite pairs of flip flops and knickers

Hopefully we'll have more luck down under........

Farewell Asia!

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Sat, 29 Jul 2006 00:00:00 GMT

We arrived to find that the chivalrous James Watkin, over excited about our arrival had paid upfront for our first 2 nights at the Prince of Wales hostel in Little India. Embracing the local ethnicity, we went for a curry at a local curry house where we ate with our fingers off over-sized banana leaves - when in Rome... Having failed to find an indie club to take
James for his birthday in KL, he was eager to take us to an open-air indie festival along the water front which he had heard about on the grapevine. Upon exiting the MRT, we were wowed by the setting and general atmosphere of the city, we immediately knew we would love Singapore. Unfortunately the indie festival didn't turn up trumps although we got a surprise show in the subway because apparently the youth of Singapore congregate there for amateur break-dancing practice. We had all been nervous about arriving in Singapore because we tend to cross roads in a free-spirited, haphazard kind of way. Unfortunately in Singapore they fine you $500 for this. However, within 2 crossings we had tired of waiting for the little green man to start flashing and reverted back to our former style of making a run for it.

The next day we preened ourselves in preparation for the arrival of Andrew Nigel Gillham, herein referred to as Dad G. Just after noon his first suggestion was to go for a beer and of course we didn't decline. At this point Dad G whipped out our matching T-shirts printed with the name of our infamous blog and the camcorder which was to document our activities over the next few days. After our Tiger beers were empty, our new tour guide escorted us to the Royce chocolate shop where we messily enjoyed squares of chocolate truffle heaven. We headed to Dad G's hotel where we picked up our long awaited care packages from home - thanks Mums, Dads, Tom and Rose. The overwhelming theme was a mountain of pastelle cotton granny panties. Pat Taylor you certainly outdid yourself, we counted 18 pairs in total, these will keep Tay going for at least the next 8 months. Dad G was relieved to have made it through customs without being searched as even with his diplomatic skills he would have struggled to explain a suitcase seething with female underwear en route to Singapore.

Next a real treat was had as Dad G took us up the Swissotel tower where cosmopolitan bar Equinox occupies the top floor. We felt a little out of place sipping our first champagne and cocktails in 4 months whilst sporting our scruffy knapsacks and day-glo market clothes. The bubbly gave us quite an appetite and we couldn't turn down the offer of dinner. Dad G had a hankering for meat so we all swaggered to Bobby Ramones in the Chymes complex where the ribs, burgers and chicken went down a storm. We rushed back to our hostel for our last night with James :( and reverted back to being 14 as we were forced to sip vodka sitting on the curb outside 7-Eleven. In honour of Erik we indulged in a few rounds of his favourite drinking game 'fick dein bus'. Then it was on to the ingeniously named 'Baa Bar Black Chic' a funky little club in Little India, where we found the lasers, smoke-machines and electro surprisingly pleasing. Our hangovers lead to a particularly emotional farewell to our last friend from Asia, James 'I'll give you that one for free' Watkin. We miss you loads, its all about Stuttgart '07!

That evening we were cordially invited to the home of Chris White where we also rendezvoused with Lindsey Neary, the ginger bombshell- Tay's friends from uni. Chris' Dad David cooked up a sumptuous barbecue with strawberries and Scottish fudge for dessert. After we had had our fill of dinner, Chris took us for a couple of drinks at Clarke Quay, a swanky row of bars along the waterfront, where we were introduced to a few of his friends from Singapore. The following day we had a lunch date with Chris and Lindsey at the Tanglin Country Club at which David is a member. The lunch was delicious- thanks again David!

Having visited every Chinatown in every city along the way, we felt it only fair to see what Singapore's had to offer us. We enjoyed a cup of chinese tea and a stroll around the market.
One tourist attraction that we knew we would enjoy was the night safari. This involved a tram ride through the wilds of Africa and Asia and their nocturnal creatures. We saw a host of animals, some of which we'd never even heard of- who knew bearcats and hogbadgers existed? Particularly exciting was the bat enclosure in which we had close encounters with giant fruitbats which left Colly and Chris cowering in the corner (complete with girly squeals from Chris). After the tram tour we attended the 'Creatures of the Night' show where we came up close and personal with a whole array of animals. A keen love for otters was formed after watching Pedro, a very well-trained specimen, demonstrate how to pick up and recycle rubbish.

Next day brought the move we'd all been waiting for, our parents had booked us a couple of rooms at the hotel Dad G was staying in. It was finally time to swap dorms and communal showers for double beds and en-suites, and we revelled in it. Surrounded by clean towels and hot showers, it proved the perfect environment in which to groom and prepare ourselves for the glamorous evening ahead. First stop the infamous Raffles Hotel for Singapore Slings, which went down so favourably we consumed two rounds. We entered into the tradition of Raffles by discarding our peanut shells on the floor of the bar. Ironic how the one place you are allowed to litter in the city is its most renowned hotel. After having been introduced to some of Dad G's colleagues, we selected a Chinese seafood restaurant for dinner. The menu was vast and largely alien to us, so we left ordering in Sharon's capable hands. This proved to be a wise decision when plate upon plate of delicious food continued to arrive from the kitchen- a unanimous favourite dish was crayfish. Proving you needed to be an expert to make such successful decisions, Dad G floundered in the wine selecting with a schoolboy error of ordering Chinese wine which turned out to be sherry. A lovely evening was perfectly rounded off by a cocktail amidst the grandeur of the Fullerton hotel.

Our last night in Asia was definitely one to remember. After drinks at Chris' we went to The Ministry of Sound. Chris' Dad David rose to legendary status as he decided to join us, and showed us up on the dancefloor. Complete with fountains, escalators and flashing dance floors it was certainly a lot trendier than the places we have been frequenting during the trip. A 4am McDonalds feast brought the night to a close and sealed the deal on a fantastic last night in Asia.

Sharon, thank you for your insider's knowledge of Singapore and for the lovely gifts.

Chris and David, thanks so much for the hospitality and the amazing night in the Ministry of Sound!

Many thanks to Dad G for making our stay in Singapore so memorable and thanks also to the other Mums and Dads, sorry you couldn't be there to share it with us!

KL, Balloons and Towering Heights

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Thu, 27 Jul 2006 00:00:00 GMT

Sorry there has been such a delay in our blog of late, but we have been somewhat distracted by events in Singapore. Needless to say details will follow in due course.

So Kuala Lumpur, or as we are now qualified to call it, "KL". Things got off to a flying start as we were reunited with our favourite Northern boy, James Watkin.

As it was his birthday, James got free reign over the proceedings and we spent the day in Las Vegas- style theme park, complete with waterslides. The waterslides weren't quite extreme enough for our tastes, but this was compensated for by the 'dry rides' which had a consistent theme of upside-down action, leaving us all green. Good thing the birthday boy had selected McDonald's as his meal of choice and we sprinted there post-rollercoaster to combat the lingering queasiness. After a three-course McDonald's the drinking commenced and we headed to the busiest nightspot in Chinatown, the Reggae Bar, where we danced the night away. Much fun was had with balloons, which became a running theme of the night(please refer to photo).
Some readers will be surprised to hear that on waking the following morning, we felt that we had behaved impeccably. However upon returning sober the following night to watch The World Cup final, it transpired that we were now on first name terms with half the staff and the DJ-none of whom we recognised. The World Cup brought to light a few surprising revelations, namely we harbour secret desires for the extremely suave Jurgen Klinsmann and whilst watching Italy win the final we all developed a lustful appreciation for Cannavaro. For all those who share our passion, go to this link and turn you speakers up for full enjoyment. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHj1Q--MjVA&search=cannavaro

In KL, we stayed in the bustling hub of Chinatown where we enjoyed some amazing food, most particularly a buffet involving a variety of components, the most noteworthy being the pumpkin, which we've been obsessed with for the whole trip but is rarely available. We spent a considerable amount of time meandering around the city streets and came away with a good impression of the place. We wandered around the lake gardens, went up the KL Tower by night and the Petronas Towers by day for spectacular city views. A lot of time was spent in KL's fast quantity of shiny shopping malls, complete with roller-coasters, ice rinks and amazing selections of food. All in all we liked KL.

Moved on for a quick stop in Melacca, a historic colonial town with Dutch, Portugese and British influence. Not a vast array of things to do, but after visiting the fort, we passed an interesting hour at the Museum of Enduring Beauty. This was slightly random as it had nothing to do with Melacca or indeed Malaysia, but was interesting none-the-less as we all now have a detailed knowledge of obscure tribal customs, carried out in the name of 'beauty'.

Looking forward to a rendezvous with Dad G in Singapore, we headed to our sixth country.

Trevor

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 00:00:00 GMT

From the Highlands, we headed to Penang on the west coast. There was such an overwhelming abundance of things to do in Penang that in the three days we spent there we went to the cinema three times. Uninspired by our surroundings we decided that despite a month on the Thai islands, we had not quite had our fill of beaches so headed north to the island of Langkawi. We wiled away the first few days with inordinant amounts of eating, sleeping and reading. We developed an unhealthy obsession with the phenomenon that was to become known as "mini-treats". At regular intervals throughout the day, we would bee-line to our favourite mini-mart armed with small change and spend an obscene amount of time grappling at the large plastic jars to select a harmonious blend of bite-sized treats.

Cable Cars on Langkawi

After being kids in a candy store for several days, we decided to become grown-ups and explore the island with a hire car.

Driving Trevor

For the grand total of six British pounds, we had the pleasure of cruising Langkawi in a Proton Saga whilst grooving to the smooth tunes of 'Red FM's' 90's classics - Ace of Base being the unanimous favourite. The car oozed chav and was appropriately christened 'Trevor'.

Trevor Porn

We headed to the cable cars to get a bird's eye view of the island. Murph, Tay and Erin were understandably distracted on their way in by the duty free supermaket on this tax-free haven. By perfectly combining both frugality and incredible greed, they could not resist an amazing offer on quite an unnecessarily large amount of Dairy Milk chocolate. A glutinous feast was had. In fact, so insatiable was the girls' appetite for said chocolate, that even once it had been melted into an unrecognisable pulp within Trevor's fiery interior, they still continued to devour it with feverish delight.

Some fun with chocolate

Next up Trevor took us to a waterfall but en route we could no longer ignore the excessive leakage from underneath the dashboard and Erin's entirely uneducated cry of, "it has to be the radiator". We swiftly pulled into a petrol station, popped the hood, and the four of us proceeded to stare at the interior for a duration of five minutes, in complete silence. Even Erin Charlotte Gillham,'the mechanic', couldn't determine where or what the radiator actually was. In no time two heroes came to our rescue and quickly determined that the route of the problem was the air cooling system and nothing to worry about.

Trevor has some problems

Reassured we headed back out onto the open road. We enjoyed a paddle in the waterfall, oohing and aahing over a monkey visible in the far distance when suddenly, in the blink of an eye, we were surrounded by an entire pack of them moving towards us at an alarming rate. Luckily for us they turned out to be quite tame and our cries of, "why the hell didn't we get rabies jabs?" soon descended into embarassing baby voices, "wook at the widdle baby waby monkey wunkeys". The day came to a beautiful end with a romantic moment for our farewell with Trevor as we all watched the sun set over Coco Beach.

A monkey

A Change of Scenery

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Sat, 01 Jul 2006 00:00:00 GMT

Paradise on the Perhentians

A new day, a new country, a new Paradise island and we arrived at the Perhentians on the north-east coast of Malaysia. However, Paradise was somewhat tainted for Tay and Murph who both endured a 24 hour bout of Malaria (in hindsight perhaps just a stomach bug) which involved Exorcist-style projectile vomiting en masse- delightful! We were back to the wild when Tay and Colly were awoken in their beach shack during the dead of the night to hear the disconcerting sounds of brawling monitor lizards. Once the sun had risen they finally braved the outside. Tay was unsure if she was feverishly hallucinating or if there was in fact, a 6-foot monitor lizard/ dragon/ Godzilla residing outside their front door. Colly's high-pitched stream of profanities confirmed the sighting. While this drama was taking place, Murph and Erin went in search of the great outdoors on a snorkelling expedition, close encounters with black-tip sharks and giant turtles left them speechless with delight and in awe at the wonder of nature, or more precisely the massive size of the turtle's head- beasts of the sea. If you're sensing a pattern, the theme of the island was oversized animals.

After a few days recovery time on the Perhentians we craved a change of scenery from beautiful beaches. However, in order to satisfy our need we had to give up something very dear to our hearts- the Bavarian Love Machine, our beloved German friend. Erik: German dancing changed our lives.

Pure Sex

Us aboard a tree canopy

Next up was the jungle, Taman Negara National Park. We reacquainted ourselves with the sexy trek shoes and headed off to explore. We braved the elements not feeling the need for a guide or even a map. This cocky attitude almost got us into strife when after ascending to the highest peak to see the beautiful view, our descent caused alarm when we found ourselves on barely-there trails with little sign of recent human activity. Panic started to spread throughout our pack when we became concerned that we had ventured onto a 4-day guide-only trek path without a map...a torch....food.....or any idea where we were. Eventually after much inelegant scrambling and abseiling with tree roots we found a small inconspicuous tattered rope which lead the way to safety. The jungle boasted the longest and highest canopy walkway of its kind in the world. Expecting a sturdy bridge we were surprised to find a string of our Dad's garden ladders secured with boy-scout knots, suspended 50m above the jungle floor. We loved every second.

Tree Canopies

Erin adseiling

From the jungle we headed into the cloudy hills of the Cameron Highlands. Staying in an aluminium bunker things were a little chilly and it was back to snuggling under blankets. This time round we ventured into the forest and sensibly elected for the safety of a guide. After learning the medicinal qualities of every plant in the Mossy Forest, we headed to the 'BOH' tea Plantation and factory to learn the process of making tea.

Proper BOH

They realised they were true English girls at heart when by the end of the tour, Tay and Murph had each enjoyed a cup of tea, a scone and a punnet of strawberries. You can take the girl out of England.......The day was topped off with a game of Scrabble.

Us in front of the tea plantations

Goodbye Thailand

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Tue, 27 Jun 2006 00:00:00 GMT

View from our hotel in Krabi

A long and arduous journey to Krabi involved a wide array of different modes of transport and an unwelcome rainstorm. This caused us to arrive, along with everything we owned, soaked to the bone. After a night in the main town we headed to the backpacker's haven of Railay Beach. The journey was initially delayed as we were stranded in our hotel reception watching the relentless downpour. Once we finally braved the weather our departure was further hindered by a stand-off with the longboat drivers and their blatant attempts to rip us off. After surrendering we endured an Ellen McArthur-style Atlantic crossing which left our faces stung by the spray and nausea all round. We disembarked to a beautiful lagoon enshrouded by stunning cliffs. The still visible effects of the tsunami were a constant reminder of how different this Paradise place can be. The hunt for accommodation came up trumps when we found a pretty much deserted resort of chalets amidst lush greenery with spectacular views. The only drawback were the 65,000 near-vertical steps that had to be clambered up, rucksacks and all.

A smug day was spent lounging by the beautiful pool followed by an equally enjoyable day cruising round nearby islands- the highlight was the island that resembled a giant chicken, for obvious reasons.

Chicken Island

Snorkelling was enjoyed and luckily the large number of jellyfish were avoided. One of our favourite aspects of Krabi and in fact all of the islands, has been the seafood. Krabi particularly impressed us with it's evening barbeques where sumptuous shark and barracuda steaks were thoroughly enjoyed.

FHM Shoot

We left Railay Beach for Phi Phi which involved a slippery stomp through the shallows, with rucksacks on to board our boat. This was worth it when we were rewarded with free tea and biscuits once aboard. Murph and Robbi decided to become advanced divers on Phi Phi and so embarked on a course with crazy German instructor Hollie.

Robbi and Murph diving

Things got off to a hairy start when within the first five minutes, Robbi plummeted to the depths of 20m, disappearing within seconds into the darkness causing Hollie to go and fetch him and leaving Murph bobbing alone in the middle of the sea. Necessary elements of the course included a dive to 30m and navigating under water. The pair elected to do a wreck dive, peak performance buoyancy and underwater photography. All proved interesting due to high winds and rough seas, making clambering round the boat in scuba gear somewhat perilous. However, the wreck dive caused the most drama when the disappearance of a marker buoy, caused an entire passenger ferry to go missing under the sea. Luckily a fancy boat with a radar turned up to save the day and Murph proved she had learnt little in the navigation course when she managed to crash into the wreck twice.

Nemo

While the divers were getting their early nights, Matt, Tay, Colly and Erin were getting acquainted with the local nightspot- Apaches. Dotted around the club were numerous speakers which we found unable to avoid hogging all night.

The crew with death bucket

We knew we'd made a show of ourselves when accosted during the day by apparent strangers with heckles of, "Oi speaker girl! We saw you dancing last night!"

We were soon joined by others from the Koh Phangan crew- James, Erik and Ffion, accompanied by the 'Death Bucket'.

Lost in the moment

The infamous death bucket

After spending the last 3 months continuously talking about getting a Thai massage, we finally indulged. After being oiled up, clambered over by small Thai women and having every bone in our bodies cracked, we felt suitably relaxed. As well as leaving Thailand, we also said goodbye to our bum-chums Matt and Robbi.

Boys, we'll miss you!

The boys in a lovers embrace

See you in 9 months for an authentic Italian Rausa buffet courtesy of Vito.

Puppies, Jumping Through Fire and Full Moon on Koh Phangan

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Sat, 17 Jun 2006 00:00:00 GMT

Koh Phangan is known for the infamous full moon party, however after spending a week there it turns out that every night is celebrated like it is full moon. We'll spare you the finer details but here is a montage of our favourite parts:

Upon our arrival we immediately discovered that we were living next to a 24 hour bakery which quickly became our Mecca. The staff there were in awe at our tremendous and ceaseless ability to consume mountains of baked goods at any time of the day or night.

Murph and adorable puppy

Much excitement was caused on our first night out when we discovered a litter of new born puppies residing in one of the beach-side bars. Tay and Murph took it upon themselves to relentlessly harass the puppies and show them off like proud mothers to everyone else in the bar. Many new friends were made.

A major source of entertainment on Koh Phangan is playing with fire. Images of singed eyebrows and burnt hair deterred us however as usual Ryan James Russell felt the need to get involved. Superman eat your heart out.

Ryan James Russell jumping through fire

A usual day on Koh Phangan involved arising at 2pm, heading straight for the bakery, and then spending the entire afternoon bobbing in the sea. However on one particular occasion Murph, Erin, Matt and Sam, for reasons unbeknown to anyone decided it would be a good idea to swim to a 'nearby' beach. After a fairly pleasant but unexpectedly long swim there, the adventurers discovered that the only way to reach the beach was to clamber across razor sharp rocks cutting their feet left right and centre. Upon finally reaching sand they discovered that it was gritty, uncomfortable and impossible to lay down upon. Sam decided to investigate the beach only to be immediately chased back to the rocks by a pack of wild dogs. A quick exit was made and they now found themselves swimming against the tide amidst giant jellyfish. Eventually after a fearsom afternoon, 4 very red sunburnt faces returned home tails between legs.

The arrival of the World Cup played a major part in the Koh Phangan experience. We are fully aware of how controversial this is, but on viewing the first match with our legendary German friend Erik, we went to the dark-side and could be heard from a considerable distance shouting 'Deutschland, Deutschland, Deutschland!'. Things didn't look good for the first England game when a massive storm hit the island half an hour before kickoff and a powercut ensued. Hundreds of frantic English people spent the first half of the match sprinting around Koh Phangan looking for a bar with a generator that was showing the football and not the Thai King's anniversary celebrations. Luckily by the second half the power had returned and we were back on our usual spot on the beach watching the big screen.

The German Legend Erik Bonhorst

Being partial to taking a theme and running away with it, we discovered UV paint early on during our stay. The majority of our nights out were spent doused in the stuff which we have now discovered has ruined many of our already day-glo items. Our favourites included the UV moustache, the Power Rangers sign and our initials brandished across our bodies. We knew we'd gone overboard when on our final departure Murph and Matt boarded the ferry for Krabi still caked in UV paint from the night before.

Erik, James, Murph, Millsy and Matt getting involved with UV

The full moon party turned out to be exactly the same as every other night on Koh Phangan, just with more people. Everyone retired during the early hours however Murph and Erin, the hardcore ravers stayed out well beyond Sunrise to well and truly see in the new day. Tay rose from bed at 7.30am with a second wind and a fresh bucket in hand to join in the daytime beach rave. The girls only admitted defeat when the music finally stopped.

The girls and Sam all slightly inebriated

All in all a good week but definately ready to leave so we headed to chilled-out Krabi for some R&R.

The Start of the Islands and a Deep Sea Adventure

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Wed, 07 Jun 2006 00:00:00 GMT

Sunset on Koh Tao

We were pretty pleased with what we saw when we arrived in Koh Tao, a Paradise island complete with beautiful sunsets and beach side bungalows. After inital problems involving giant lizards inhabiting bathrooms, holes in thatched roofs and no power between 6am and 6pm which means waking up in a fanless sweatbox, we settled in nicely. A few days and evenings were spent aquainting ourselves with our fresh surroundings, when we were once again rejoined by old friends Matt and Robbi complete with new recruit Samuel Micheal Manners. We eventually got round to signing up for our open water diving course and persuaded Sam to join us diving for some "getting to know you" bonding sessions. At the point of enrolling we were unaware that this involved 9am starts at school, homework, tests and some hardcore sea action. Things got off to a shaky start when in our first session Collman revealed that she was both afraid of fish and an unconfident swimmer to boot. The instructors were further concerned when at every opportunity we digressed from learning the A, B Cs of diving to discussing overuse of cotton buds in the ear canal and a famous garlic restaurant in San Fransisco- expect to hear more on this in future!

Looking hot in scuba gear

The first real trauma was squeezing ourselves into damp wetsuits and the dawning realisation that scuba diving is literally the most unattractive sport that we could ever partake in. If the fins, goggle masks, mouthpiece (regulators) and cylinder on back weren't bad enough our instructor kindly informed us that in a few hours not only would we all be wearing these outfits but we would also be almost entirely covered in snot- yes please! Dive one involved us descending to the great depths of one and a half metres, not exactly the deep sea adventure we were expecting, instead we spent the next few hours practising such skills as removing our masks underwater, sharing breathing appartus with a buddy and learning how to relieve cramp. Once we had these manoueveres nailed we were ready for our first ocean floor experience and itching to do something more adventurous. After a couple of days diving to 12 metres we felt comfortable in the water and smug that so far we were A* students. The bombshell came however when it was revealed to us that on the final dive to 18 metres we would be accompanied by not one but two cameramen there to capture every inelegant leg flail and every stray bogey. An underwater dance off occurred with Murph rocking the knee to elbow, Collman doing the hop and skip and Sam whipping out a montage containing every dance move under the sun- the "bongos" being a particular favourite. This was only beaten by Tay pulling out the old school Macarena after panicking that an underwater "bend and snap" simply wouldn't work.

Upon meeting our instructors in a bar expecting a private viewing of the video, to our horror we discovered it was to be shown on three large screens for all to see and mock. Between us we purchased zero copies of this video- enough said.

The Sam Manners dance

Cheesy toilet shot

Overall we thoroughly enjoyed diving, not only is Colly no longer afraid of fish but her cold heart was melted at the sight of Mummy Nemo caring for her 2 babies. Tay still swears to this day that she saw a single tear through Collman's steamy mask. Our appetite well and truly wetted we are planning more dives later in the trip.

After a night out to celebrate our new status as qualified divers we left Koh Toa in a hazy blur. Unfortunately all too vivid in this scene was the now engrained image of Ryan James Russell, ever the exhibitionist, arriving in Koh Phangan wearing nothing but a flimsy skirt.

Ryan James Russell donning female clothing

Angkor What?

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Wed, 31 May 2006 00:00:00 GMT

Next day headed to Siem Reap, however half the group were left behind leaving Tay and Murph to sweet talk a bus driver due to Erin leaving town with their pre-purchased tickets (the journey was hindered by the fact that they now only had one flip flop each). Siem Reap's cosmopolitan feeling and ample supply of up-market restaurants and bars left us impressed. We dined in the very same restaurant frequented by Angelina Jolie whilst filming Tomb Raider in the area. Angkor Wat, the world's largest religious site and reminiscent of the set of United States Jones and the Temple of Doom, provided a fun day out for all.

Bayern Site at Angkor Wat

Patrick and Millsy in Angkor Wat

We found the Bayern Site an ideal setting for hide and seek whilst the main temple was the perfect backdrop for a game of frisbee.

Frisbee in Angkor Wat

Inspired by our Vietnamese tour guide, two Cambodian recorders were purchased from village children and we held our own impromptu concert in the temple grounds. However, our repertoire left a lot to be desired as '3 blind mice' was the only recognisable tune.

Impromtu Concert with recorders

That evening a night out to celebrate Aussie Millsy's birthday was planned but unfortunately for the birthday boy, he came down with a bout of food poisoning leaving us to celebrate in his honour. Aussie Patrick decided to drink for two and after a few too many G&Ts he managed to be sick over the balcony and with shocking precision vomited directly onto the head of the hostel owner's wife. This was our cue to exit and after 11 of us mounted a single tuk tuk we arrived at Zone One. Apparently we had stepped into a year 9 disco as the club was filled by slow-dancing Cambodian couples. We knew it was time to leave when once again Patrick gave us reason to make a quick exit, as he mounted a table full of drinks which abruptly collapsed causing much mayhem and yet more death stares. Next we headed to the ingeniously named 'Angkor What?' bar where we settled right in and comedy dancing commenced.
Following a hangover day we headed to Bangkok on what can only be described as the world's poorest excuse for a road. Seven horrifically bumpy hours later we arrived at the border where for once a smooth transition ocurred. We then boarded the world's most beautiful bus with air conditioning and empty seats aplenty where we passed our time in a Tony Hart fashion sketching one another.
In Bangkok we felt the need to revamp our wardrobes that did not go entirely according to plan. After a ten minute panic buying spree, we returned home laden with day-glo cotton items-half of which were made for children. After spending a small fortune we departed for the island of Koh Tao.

Day-glo clothing galore

Schnooky Schnooky Schnookyville

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Tue, 30 May 2006 00:00:00 GMT

Whilst in Phnom Penh we decided to treat ourselves to a couple of days at a Paradise beach resort that someone had described to us as, "party, party, party." Known as Sihanoukville to everyone else, due to our obsession with funny sounding words this quickly became 'Schnooky, Schnooky Schnookyville.' Our excitement was soon dampened by a black sky and a relentless rainstorm. We decided to cure our disappointment with a night out on the town and headed to Utopia, a notorious backpacker club.

Party outfits in Shinoukville

However we pulled up, complete with party outfits in the form of multi-coloured ponchos and found the entire strip shut down and deserted due to the storm. Unable to face defeat we instructed our motorcycle drivers to take us to "a bar, any bar." However, not even we could look on the brightside when upon entering 'Freedom' we were confronted by a mass of sex tourists and prostitutes. Somewhat despondent a bottle of whisky was quickly purchased and magically transformed the potential failed night into an unexpected success. Accompanied by two new friends we had previously dismissed as sex tourists (much to their offence) we found ourselves upstairs taking over the prostitutes' lair and spent the rest of the night perfecting the age-old art of pole dancing.

Murph and Ryan enjoying a pole

Erin getting involved with a pole

The crew in the prostitutes lair

The rain continued to pour and thus we gave up on the sun and headed back to Phnom Penh with new friends a plenty.
Our rave reviews of 'The Heart of Darkness' quickly enticed the rest of the crew to sample the delights for themselves and much fun was had by all.

Dr Dan, Murph and Patrick in the Heart of Darkness

Daylight Robbery, a Familiar Face and the Heart of Darkness

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Sun, 28 May 2006 00:00:00 GMT

On arriving in Phnom Penh a fifth member was added to our crew when we rendezvoused with Ryan James Russell. We don't know what Ryan was expecting but it was probably in the form of some romantic alone time with his girlfriend Laura Kay Collman. However, the poor bugger got a nasty surprise when upon arrival he now discovered he had 4 full-time girlfriends. Things got off to a sketchy start when we were robbed within one hour of our first day in the city. Collman's bag was snatched by 2 youths on a moped as they sped past our overloaded tuk tuk- there was nothing we could do.

Another day, another country, another foreign police station. We now consider ourselves experts in the art of statement giving. A few hours, a few white lies and a few fake witnesses later and $30 was handed over to the corrupt policemen and we left with another police report to add to our ever increasing collection.

That evening we decided to have a wake for Collman's lost bag and found ourselves in Phnom Penh's answer to Jaxx- "The Heart of Darkness" where we let out our pent up dance fever and Tay reacquainted herself with the beloved podium- having to relinquish only part of the stage to a couple of Cambodian ladyboys. Now that we had a smelly boy in our midst we tore oursleves away from the Heart of Darkness to watch the Champion's League final. Upon bursting into the bar shrill and drunk we were confronted by a silent room of 30 sets of angry boy eyes. The television volume was swiftly increased as we clambered over them to simply shout "whisky, we want whisky" in the bartender's bemused face. Drinks in hand, we watched with baited breath after having made a group pact with Ryan to all get naked if Arsenal won (readers from Hartley Wintney willl already be aware of Mr Russell's love for public nudity, please note "Mr April" in the village calendar). Us girls and probably the rest of the bar were all too relieved when they lost- thank God.

Skulls at the Killing Fields

In keeping with our European tradition (Auschwitsch) we can apparently only visit sites of mass genocide when hungover. Rather upsettingly the main feature of the Killing Fields was a tower displaying thousands of the victim's skulls. In line with the usually inaccurate English translations in Asia, this exhibition did not fail to disappoint. "They were trying hard to get rid of Khmer character and transform the soil and waters of Kampuchea into a sea of blood and tears which was deprive of cultural infrastructure, civilisation and national character became a desert of great destruction that overturned the Kampuchea society and drove it back on the stone age." Upon wandering around the site, you could see remnants of the victims clothes still peeping out from the soil. On a lighter note it was inappropriate comments all round when upon sighting a display of victim's teeth Collman announced, "those teeth are whiter than mine! I'm definitely getting mine bleached!" S21 the High School turned prison of torture, displayed many horrific images of victims and sick instruments used to inflict pain. Seeing photos and quotes from members of the Khmer Rouge who are still alive today living free in a society alongside their victim's relatives was a chilling reminder of just how recent these atrocities were. It is hard to believe that a quarter of the population were exterminated just outside of our own lifetimes.

No Man's Land, Part Deux (nearly)

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Mon, 22 May 2006 00:00:00 GMT

12.00pm- We arrive at the border with Erin clutching both new and old passport in hand hoping for a smooth transition.
12:03pm- Erin breaks into a cold sweat upon sighting the all to familiar uniform of the Immigration officers.
12.04pm- Erin bravely approaches the desk and presents 'the passport'.
12:05pm- The guard looks stern and exits the booth.
12:06pm- Oh shit.
12:07pm- While Erin stands stranded at the desk Murph, Tay and Colly make a secret pact to sever all ties with "the fugitive," and continue regardless.
12:08pm- The short lived plan is thwarted when they realise that having entirely matching travelling attire makes them all too clearly recognisable as a group.
12:09pm- After Erin is dragged off to an outhouse Murph, Tay and Colly merrily make a beeline for Duty Free and spend the last of their Vietnamese currency on some Mars miniatures.
12:10pm- Murph, Tay and Colly position themselves on the sidelines and observe the drama unfolding whilst enjoying their chocolatey light bite.
12:11pm- Erin is being detained, stranded amongst a pack of immigration guards- her fate in their hands yet again.
12:12pm- The girl realise their friendship with Erin is simply a burden, she has trouble written all over her. They now begin to Hope that she will actually be stuck at the border. Plans to recruit a replacement group member commence.
12:43pm- Luckily for Erin after 30 minutes of deliberations the guards decide to let her off with purchase of a new visa to be stuck in her new shiny passport. The old one is now permanently banished to the bottom of her rucksack, never to be seen again.
12:44pm- Finally the girls leave Vietnam and enter Cambodia.
12:45pm- On seeing Erin pass successfully through to Cambodia, coldfish Collman breaks down and releases the well overdue pent up tears and cries, "oh God, she's still here!"

(Erin cried no tears during the course of this day)

Die Hard Travellers

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Fri, 19 May 2006 00:00:00 GMT

We knew we'd arrived in Saigon at the wrong time when the bus pulled up outside a bar still seething with sex tourists. Arriving in a new foreign city at 4:30am is not advisable- all normal hotels were closed so we found ourselves inhabiting a disgusting sweat box of a room. Being such hard core travellers we lasted one night in this squallor before transferring to a luxurious hotel around the corner. At a mere snippet of $4 a head, it included such amenities as air conditioning, satellite tv, fresh towels daily and a fridge to cool our beverages in. First day in Saigon was spent on official business collecting Erin Charlotte Gillham's new passport from the Embassy complete with particularly special photo. This was followed by a visit to the extremely up-market offices of Price Waterhouse Coopers where replacement phones for Tay and Erin had been Fedexed. We temporarily brightened up reception in our inappropriately scruffy beach wear- thanks JT. The official business continued as we toured the city desperately in search of a new black bra. For those who have never been to Asia, you will not appreciate how South-East Asian women are not particularly well endowed in the chest area. Many frantic cupped-hand gestures and requests for "one very big black bra!" were met with shocked bewilderment and little success.

A more cultural day followed and included some of the more conventional sights of Saigon. Visiting the Cu Chi Tunnels was an eye-opener on two accounts:

1) Anti- American feeling is still being encouraged. This was confirmed by viewing a propoganda film that referred to Americans as 'the brutal devil'.

2) We Westerners are absolutely massive. The Viet Cong fought in tunnels that were 60cm high- these have been doubled in height for the tourists and believe us it is still a tight squeeze.

There was almost another 999 moment when two members of our group failed to emerge from the original tunnels and the Guide firmly believed they were headed to Cambodia. Murph and Colly enjoyed impersonating Bond girls when they shot AK47's- pity their aim left a lot to be desired.

A Nha Trang Reunion was had when we met up with a couple of Swedish girls and took them to our favourite restaurant. The reason we loved this restaurant is simply because they added copious amounts of cheese to every dish-a chef after our own hearts. Following dinner we returned to our luxurious suite to sample some Vietnamese vodka we had chilled in our fridge. Now we fancy ourselves as connoisseurs of cheap nasty vodka (Tesco Value anyone?) from hairspray to paint stripper we've had them all. However nothing could prepare us for the aftertaste of this shocker. It had a bizarre biscuity/ nutty/ foody/ indescribable flavour which offended even our hardened palates. This was continued the next morning when Erin rose to take a morning swig of refreshing water only to discover she had gulped a mouthful of vodka- she then proceeded to spend the next 30 minutes wretching into the toilet.
So far on the trip we have discovered a particularly astute talent at selecting the worst weather days for outdoor activities. So yet again, ignoring the clouds we traipsed to the waterpark where we found a slide that is rivalled by no other. Mounting a dingy in pairs we were plunged into complete darkness. Taken by surprise there were girly screams all round- only amplified by the unexpected finale of a free-fall drop into a plunge pool. Of course following its discovery we then proceeded to repeat the experience approximately 59 times. After excited Baywatch style runs into the wave pool, we discovered it was more of a gentle swell but it made for a great stage to watch the impressive thunderstorm that ensued in the afternoon.

To satisfy our love for the Mekong River and family orientated organised day trips, we took a two day tour to the Delta. This included observing quintessential Vietnamese floating markets and of course stopping along the way to learn the fine art of making obscure Asian delicacies. The Coconut candy was a surprising treat pity the snake wine (used as Viagra) didn't go down quite so well (no pun intended). No matter how spectacular the views of the banks of the Mekong, they were nothing compared to the events that transpired on our journey home. After three hours on a sweaty bus we were feeling fairly fatigued and subdued- this would not last long. Our guide who had been fairly uncharismatic and cranky throughout our trip suddenly came to life in what can only be described as an impromptu concert. He stood at the head of the bus microphone in hand and announced he would sing for us a traditional Chinese folk song. Our ears immediately pricked up- this was unusual but we had seen nothing yet. After a pretty ropey rendition of the Chinese folk song (to which the bus sat- a group of silent and confused spectators). The guide then began to belt out a variety of songs (mostly unrecognisable). Our personal favourite was undoubtedly the audience participation number 'We Will Rock You' to which he became most animated and urged the bus to clap and sing along with him. He showed Gary Barlow-esque song-writing ability when he spelt the word c-o-c-o-n-u-t to the classic tune of 'Freres Jacques'- a moving performance.

After a tearful farewell to our hotel and Vietnam we boarded a bus to the Kingdom of Cambodia.

The Return to Normality

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Mon, 08 May 2006 00:00:00 GMT

After the boys left we felt it necessary to have a night off to recharge our batteries. The next morning we had a Team Talk discussing Redbull, where after a sleepless night of hallucinations decided to quit cold Turkey. At the beach that day we met two Texan cowboys and enjoyed spectating as they instructed a group of eager young Vietnamese boys in a Navy commando style workout regime.

Cowboys working out on the beach

Considering they looked like a couple of Hollywood stars this was of course a pleasurable experience for us. Arranged a dinner date 7pm sharp, by 8pm we realised we had officially been stood up! However, we recovered ever so quickly when our fish in claypots arrived- a taste sensation. Headed to the Sailing Club later that night to find that they were waiting, tails between their legs, with excuses at the ready. After flashing their Hollywood smiles, they were forgiven and the night continued in a typical Nha Trang style.
In Vietnam it is standard behaviour to ignore the annoying hawkers on the beach, however, in our fragile states we succumbed to the charms of a young Vietnamese boy brandishing a colossal collection of what is, in hindsight, relatively crap beach art. After examining the collection for approximately 2 hours, between us 5 were purchased. Surprisingly enough this lengthy deliberation did not prevent Erin from later realising she had purchased 2 identical pictures just in different colour schemes. Unlucky Mummy and Daddy Gillham, its the thought that counts. Murph and Tay were unable to tear themselves away from the charms of Why Not Bar on the final night, their tally is now 6 pairs of flip flops lost during one week in Nha Trang.

Erin in rain clothes

As much as we'd loved it there, we were relieved to say goodbye to Nha Trang and make a retreat to the mountainous resort of Dalat. Although it pretends to be in Vietnam we awoke after a 6 hour bus journey to find ourselves in the heart of the Swiss Alps. It was kag-in-a-bag/ jac-in-a-pac/ mac-in-a-sac en force as we strolled round a deceptively large lake (this was unfortunate for Erin as due to her turquoise waterproof and trouser set she morphed into a smurf for the day).

Posing at the cable cars

Next day had quite a few hours to kill so headed for a cable car where a thoroughly enjoyable day was had by all, soaking up the alpine atmosphere. The rest of the day was wiled away reading, writing and drinking bucket loads of free tea. True English girls at heart.

Don't be angry Mummies and Daddies.................

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Wed, 03 May 2006 00:00:00 GMT

So Hanoi. There are 3.4 million mopeds in Hanoi and we have seen/ been run over by every single one of them. Boy do they love tooting their horns. After tranquil Laos Hanoi seemed ridiculously hectic. We were there during the Communist Party Congress and it was a surreal experience to be surrounded by such blatant Communist propoganda. First port of call was a date with the British Embassy, where we were disappointed to find that our hero Elliot Haines was back in the UK and so we couldn't thank him in person for saving our asses at the border. (Incidentally Erin is now stuck with the most unfortunate passport photo for the next ten years- unlucky.) We indulged in a trip to the traditional water puppet theatre where we discovered 45 minutes of watching puppets dance in water is actually 40 minutes too long. Enjoyed an overnight boat trip to Ha Long Bay which involved cheesy star-gazing, yoga up on deck and collecting shells on a tiny deserted island- paradise. More importantly though we suprisingly managed to entertain ourselves for an hour and a half with an indepth discussion about yoghurt. Whilst on the boat trip we discovered a love for arty camera work so we urge you to enjoy any future use of black and white or sepia image mode used in the journal. In our haste to get to Nha Trang (legendary party town on the coast) we found ourselves getting involved in two overnight buses and a horrific 5am start in just 3 days. A visit to the De-militarised Zone "served as a poignant reminder of Vietnam's recent brutal history" (Murph). The trip was made especially interesting when our journey back became a race against time in order for us to catch our overnight bus. We were bundled into a small van whose driver decided to play 'how many random Vietnamese people can we pick up off the side of the road and squeeze in to the van.'At one point there was us and 15 Vietnamese people snuggled into a 9 seater vehicle and the sweaty experience was made even more extreme for Colly as she had to spend the journey's entirety pressed up against the armpit of a clammy old man. Once back in Hue we had 2 minutes to get back to the hostel and catch the bus- in our panic we bypassed the sensible and speedy motorcycle option and opted for the only mode of transport actually slower than walking- the cyclo, good effort girls.

So got to Nha Trang and for $20 we are basically staying in a penthouse suite with sky tv, room service (which we have definitely over indulged in) and a balcony- to die for. After six weeks of relative sobreity we were looking forward to Jaxx-style nights and a Reunion with Matt and Robbi- the boys from Vang Vieng. For the parent's sake we'll keep the details of the following four nights as brief as possible and have decided to document events using bullet points.

1. Murph got stung by a jelly fish on her face.

2. Erin had a drunken revelation that on her first night here she had dampened her curiosity about the "bum squirter" (the hoses located in toilets). This began a group initiation with individual trips to the toilet to sample said bum squirter. Robbi came off the worst after sorely misjudging the force of the bum squirter leaving his linen trousers somewhat sodden.

3. We spent one hungover and delirious day piled in our room listening to the entire score of Les Miserable with sing-a-long.

4. After drunken group deep and meaningfuls with the boys about how much we all loved each other the boys came out with a quote that scored a ridiculous amount of brownie points. After having likened us to the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers in Robbi's exact words "individually you are all amazing but together the whole is greater than the sum of your parts".

5. Murph found her male hair twin in the form of Phil who was sporting a waist length mane. By looking at their silhouettes it was impossible to tell who was who (Kavos ladies you will especially appreciate this after Murph's "I am the man from the Black Eyed Peas" comment.)Colly then proceeded to grab Phil and shout in his face, "I'm actually obsessed with you!" Poor bugger.

6. We intiated comedy dancing on the first night which resulted in the whole dance floor doing either the scissors or the knee to elbow.

7. Murph rang Charlie Parish on her mobile purely to demand to speak to his Mum.

8. Murph has lost two pairs of flip flops, her camera and her purse. However she remarkably still managed to come home with a bag full of toilet roll so it wasn't all bad.

9. In attempting to grab Erin's attention Robbi called out "E C G" at which point Erin turned around with indescribable excitement and squealed "Oh my God, those are my initials".

10. Everything else is censored.

We have four more days in Nha Trang (if our bodies can handle that many more buckets of Vodka Redbull) and then move on to Saigon.

For those having inquired regarding the author of our blog we would like to point out that it is the combined genius of all four of the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.

No Man's Land

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Sun, 23 Apr 2006 00:00:00 GMT

Blogboy, we sincerely apologise for what you are about to read. After completely disregarding your advice, the following horrific events ocurred.....why oh why didn't we listen to your wise words?!! After a couple of sleepy days in Vientiane we took a 24 hour bus to take us straight to Hanoi. We all expected a hellish journey but little did we know it was going to be worse than we could ever have imagined. The events that transpired here were so traumatic that it has taken us a couple of days to be able to relive this nightmare.

19:00- Depart Vientiane on a dangerously overloaded bus. A city's supply of sugar and our rucksacks filled the aisle.
22:00- Entire bus disembarks for a communal wee on edge of a Laos road.
00:00- Sleeping was impossible enough a feat on the overnight bus, yet any efforts were further squandered by a chorus of snorers that surrounded us.
06:30- Arrive at border.
07:45- Stamped out of Laos with no problems. However, Erin C Gillham notices slight water damage to passport. With blissful disregard we proceed to the Vietnamese Immigration Office.
08:00- Murph, Tay and Colly progress swiftly and smoothly through immigration and are happily stamped into Vietnam.
08:02- One of the guards (referred to from this point on as Satan) hands back Erin's passport and exclaims- "No entry!"
08:03- Erin turns to Murph with bottom lip quivering saying, "they won't let me in as my passport is damaged." Murph retorts, "don't be ridiculous," and returns confidently to the desk, said passport in hand. Satan again says, "No entry," at which point the passport is thrown on the desk with a slightly hysterical shriek of, "this is a British passport!"
08:04- Erin starts crying.
08:05- Tay starts crying.
08:06- Murph starts crying.
08:07- Coldfish Collman manages to hold back her tears.
08:08- Phone call to Daddy Gillham. After a chipmunk-esque explanation from Erin, Daddy G requests to speak to someone who isn't crying. Recomposed Murph takes the call and explains that his daughter has in fact been refused entry into Vietnam. We are essentially stuck in No Man's Land.
08:20- An attempt to smuggle Erin into the country was thwarted by a wall of guards. We are not going anywhere, unfortunately our bus is- without us.
08:30- The Embassy is called and they say they will speak to Satan.
08:40- Embassy call us back to inform us that Satan has repeatedly hung up on them, the situation looks desperate.

At this point we feel the need to point out that the border is in the middle of nowhere. Returning to Laos was not an option as we no longer had visas. In addition, due to there being no British Embassy in Laos, we would have had to return to Thailand to get a new passport and thats only if the Thai immigration guards would let 'the fugitive' in.

08:50- Erin is still crying and is showing no signs of stopping as her passport corrodes further.
08:55- We set up camp opposite the immigration guards. A stare-off ensues- us versus them.
10:00- It appears we are the talk of the Embassy and due to the serious nature of the event we are now in direct cahoots with the Vice Consulate, Elliot Haines- Our hero!
10:00- 14:00- The stare- off continues interspersed with random bouts of crying, fits of hysteria and plans of where the best place to sleep in No Man's Land would be.
14:02- One guard takes pity on us and hands us an unripe and therefore inedible mango. We gratefully accept this gift.
14:05- We come to the conclusion that the damage to the passport could not have been caused by water alone. Our investigative skills lead us to only one possibility- it was the acidic vapours from mosquito repellant that had leaked into Erin's bag. We could not enter Vietnam because of bloody mosquito repellant. Brilliant.
14:06- 15:00- Elliot advises us to charm and bribe the guards. An attempt at a bribe was met with laughter and a refusal of "never!" So operation 'charm the guards' began. A number of guards succumb to our feminine wiles. However, we soon realise it was not us, but our combination padlock that was drawing their attention. This gave us an idea, we began bargaining all of our possessions in exchange for the elsuive stamp in the passport. Murph even accepts a marriage proposal in exchange for the stamp...unfortunately for us he was only joking.
15:00- The Embassy finally has some positive feedback, at long last they have made contact with Satan and some sort of fax is on the way. This came just in time as Murph's last ditch attempt at swaying the guards favour (which involved walking up to the desk pointing frantically at "please help us" in the guidebook with a pleading face) was met with an icy stare from Satan and laughs from the other guards, who incidentally we believe were watching porn.
15:30- To quote Daddy G, "the diplomatic machine was in motion." The fax arrived and an incredibly official looking handwritten note scrawled on exercise book paper was signed by both parties.
16:00- After 8 long hours we hear the sweet sound of a stamp connecting with Erin's passport. Hallelujah! We are in!

Journey to the Centre of the Earth ........and other adventures

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Mon, 17 Apr 2006 00:00:00 GMT

For anyone planning to travel from Luang Prabang to Vang Vieng by bus, please heed the following advice:
a)Under no circumstances feel it necessary to go out the night before and get blind drunk.
b)Colly would strongly recommend sleeping in a bed the night before and not the toilet floor.
c)Fight the urge to press snooze and try to wake up at least 10 minutes before you have to leave.
d)If you are of a nervous disposition avoid looking out the windows at all times as your driver is likely to be a maniac.
e) If a man with a huge rifle gets on there is no need to kick up a massive fuss as he's there "for your protection".
f) Under normal circumstances we would not suggest this for a long journey, but in this case, it is advisable to scoff all of your food rations before the bus starts as the relentless wiggley worm jerking makes it frustratingly impossible to eat (ice lollies can be purchased along the route)
Other than that, sit back, relax and enjoy!

First day in Vang Vieng, hired mountain bikes, again maximum chaffage due to continuation of water throwing. Trips to some caves proved to be a "999" special waiting to happen. Four young girls armed only with hot pants and flipflops enter the caves with one Laos boy and a mere three head torches, expecting a pleasant stroll. We soon realised we were infact extreme pot-holing! Particularly for Tay, whose flipflop bit the dust half way into the trip, and she was forced to scale the rock barefooted-hardcore. Despite the perils which included deep ravines and a swamp like lagoon, the caves were incredible and we would strongly recommend a visit (except for the safety conscious).

Cave exploration

Day was rounded off perfectly lounging in a bamboo beach hut bar which showed immense appreciation for 5ive by playing an entire album.

The next day was spent indulging in the infamous tubing which gives Vang Vieng its name among backpackers. For those unfamiliar with tubing, it involves floating down the Nam Song river in an inflatable tractor Tyre innard, breaking up the 3 km journey with bar stops and rope swings.

Tubing drunk

Due to it being dry season the tubing was unfortunately not quite as extreme as expected, and involved us basically walking half the 3km journey along the rocky river bed dragging our rings behind us. However, we made up for this by discovering at one particular bar a new found love for Lao whisky, redbull and coke. The highlights of the day included Colly losing her tube after it rushed down the river without her, jumping off rope swings and then comparing ridiculous sunburns due to cloudy weather complacency. Needless to say, the night continued in a similar vein with a shocking amount of our new favourite drink. We meet some new friends (who couldn't miss us due to the glare of our rouged limbs) who had the dubious pleasure of being our neighbours at the hostel, and the object of harrassment for the rest of the night.

The gang where we first met in Vang Vieng!

Matt, Hope you've learnt your lesson that asking a drunk Colly if she has had a henna tattoo done will go down about as well as a 15km Field of jars. Luckily enough, Vang Vieng is its own hangover cure as it is dotted with bars and restuarants, with bed like seating which show Friends reruns from dawn til dusk.

Currently in Vientiane having chosen the extremely sporty method of travel - a day of kayaking. Never having looked sexier on out life jackets and helmets, we risked life and (still slightly rouged) limbs down rapids. Erin and Collys attempt at the rapid was doomed from the start when they collided with the first rock and immediately capsized - "You've Been Framed" gold dust.

Laos Baby!

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Wed, 12 Apr 2006 00:00:00 GMT

After spending two days in Chiang Khong we crossed the Thai/ Laos border for a 2 day slow boat trip up the Mekong to Luang Prabang. Luckily the scenery and sunsets were absolutely amazing because after 14 hours sat on a plank of wood our arses had seen happier days!

Sunset over the Mekong

First night out in Luang Prabang was group 'slow boat' bonding exploring the city when in the distance we saw.....could those be bright lights? Could that be music? Could that be a sex-tourist-free zone? YES! It was Hive Bar, and we were sure to get involved in some vodka redbull as soon as possible. After hearing a number of reports that all bars in Laos closed at 11pm we were delighted to discover an after-hours backstreet drinking den run by the world's campest Chinese man and a shockingly agressive ladyboy (apparently the hormones aren't working) So in convoy we headed to 'Hong's Cafe' where in no time at all the police came and kicked everyone out due to excessive noise from rowdy drinkers and illegal levels of sweating.
Morning time came and it took four university graduates an alarmingly long time to realise that we had been robbed. After some confusion it was established that Erin and Tay's room had been visited by the ninja from Ocean's Eleven who had crept into their room in the early hours of the morning and stolen some money, their phones and Erin's camera. A trip to the Tourist police caused some friction as we had 'rudely' interrupted their game of bowls. After listening to heated discussions between police and the hostel owners that noone would translate for us, we came away with a 'police report' and let them get back to their busy day's work.

Waterfall at Luang Prabang

The following day we managed to find waterfalls of timotei advert-style proportions. A happy day was spent frolicking in crystal clear waters only disturbed by Murph's sudden attack of vertigo. Upon shimmying up a tree trunk she found herself trapped, her only way of escape was to jump into the waters below. After a grand audience had gathered she finally plopped into the water like a pencil.
The next day was complete cheese on toast as we became the Von Trapp family and cycled around the city.

Colly and Tay mimicking the Von Trapps

Murph and Erin mimicking the Von Trapps

If you're wondering why it looks as though we have just had a bucket of water tipped over our heads, that is because we had.....by every child in Luang Prabang. Apparently New Year celebrations in Loas involve children lining the streets and drenching every passer-by with buckets of water. Funny for the first couple of days until we realised the major drawback would be a nappyrash epidemic....so now we break into a sprint whenever we see one of the little buggers.

Being attacked by small children during the New Year Festival

Chiang Mai to Chiang Khong

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin — Thu, 06 Apr 2006 00:00:00 GMT

After a good night's sleep and a nice shower we realised we had sorely misjudged the amount of days we needed in Northern Thailand and to our horror discovered that plan B "sitting by the hostel pool" was thwarted by cloudy weather. So plan C "random daytrips" was called into action.

Day trip #1.
A cheap tour of Chiang Mai on a tuk-tuk. Won over by our driver brandishing a photo of his 3 beautiful children we proceeded to allow him to take us to every factory within the province. We enjoyed the jewellery, the egg shell boxes and the parasol painting. However things took a turn for the worse when we rocked up to an animal skin factory. Realised it was time to cut our losses when we actually began to consider purchasing a burberry purse made from the skin of a stingray. At this point we started demanding temples, and got taken to a temple 100 metres from our starting point- only it was three hours and six factories later. After a walk around the site we discovered a couple of young monks perched under a sign advertising "Monk Chats" so proceeded to sit down and quiz them with intellectual questions such as "is it true you can't touch girls" and the piece de resistance "what happens if you bump into one by accident?".

Thai village

Day trip #2
Visited village tribes outside of city. Accosted by hoards of village children attempting to flog "beautiful" bracelets, goes without saying we all came home with one.

Small village boy

Murph being harrassed by small children

The Long Neck tribe came last- even after meeting them face to face- still not sure why anyone would want a giraffe neck or a long flappy earlobe.

Long neck tribe

Finally moved on to Chiang Rai- getting a little more off the beaten track. For anyone planning to go here would definitely not recommend day trip #3 to Mae Salong. Did we miss something? Promised by guidebook a mystical Chinese village set in the hills- were disappointed to find a crusty old settlement with the only Chinese influence being "poundstretcher" style Chinese Lanterns.

After racing home from disastrous 5 hour round trip to Mae Salong all very excited about finding ourselves and being at one with nature on impending "jungle retreat". Alarm bells started to ring when Colly and Tay found themselves clinging on to the back of a truck for dear life on treacherous mountain climb. After the jouney/near death experience to our destination we realised it wasn't going to be all hot springs and waterfalls as we found ourselves, in fact, a little too close to nature for our liking. After sleepless night spooning with iguanas and Leeroy's cousins we observed the Sunrise over the mountains at 6:00am and decided that this had definitely been out-doorsey enough for us and headed back to the comforts of the city at 9:00am.

Sunset on trek

Jumped on sweaty bus to Chiang Khong where we are waiting until tomorrow to cross the border into Laos.