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theresa

27 Blog Entries
1 Trip
77 Photos

Trips:

to africa

Shorthand link:

http://www.blogabond.com/theresa


just want to spread a little love...

"For me, an area of moral clarity is: you're in front of someone who's suffering and you have the tools at your disposal to alleviate that suffering or even eradicate it, and you act. " (paul farmer)



hopefull

Douala, Cameroon

wow...things seem so hopeful. today seemed like an EXCELLENT day. another nurse arrived from the US and ive been very anxious to meet her and discuss the details of the oncoming month or so...and our equal experiences of healthcare. i've been VERY happy having this opportunity.

chin chin and ground nuts (peanuts) ..our daily snack

mostly though i've enjoyed finding out about all the things we're going to do (even tho it's slightly frustrating we haven't already started some of these ideas already) .... theres' a lot of possibility for what we might do so i am eagerly awaiting. it seems with my eagerness and the presence of another volunteer the doctor has been incline to press for things to happen. some of these weekends we will be speaking on a radio talk program about public health. tuesday of this week we are supposed to begin a door to door blood pressure and sugar screening program which will hopefully enable us to educate are public about diabetes and high blood pressure . i'm looking forward to these opportunites...eagerly awaiting the chance to work.

an HIV poster from work

i feel SO SO lucky to have someone so like minded next to me in my adventures. it's SO encouraging!!

permalink written by  theresa on November 14, 2009 from Douala, Cameroon
from the travel blog: to africa
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healthcare/social life

Douala, Cameroon

even this small clinic, with quoted hopes to serve the underpriveledged, does not quite have what i think is preferential option for the poor. the ones i thought i came to serve can't afford the 1000frs (2 dollar) admission fee to see the doctor. they cannot pay the few hundred frs fee for the taxi. they are in villages who've known few doctors and little medicine. those who watch loved ones toil to their graves, their early graves made from deaths caused by treatable, preventable diseases like malaria, TB, and typhoid. those are the ones i came for. ..and i'm not sure where they are really. i was hoping someone would show me, especially here in a foreign country. i'd go myself to find them...
but i'm a nurse. i need a doctor. i need supplies.
otherwise what do i have to offer people but a caring hand...a hand that holds them as they die from causes i know to be nonexistant or rare in the luxuries of the US...the hoard of most of the world's finances.
hmm...i know they're out there.

there's so much blame in the world put on the poor for being responsible for their own circumstances. i find myself repulsed by this especially when it comes from a healthcare provider. DESPITE all the structural injustices, i know too personally the ease by which a person can make choices harmful to themselves as a result of difficult circumstances in life. what i dont' know is what it would be like to have no choice. to be born into poverty, where at times it seems the only escape is through one immoral decision or another, whether it be drug use or prostitution or crime. where healthcare is inaccessible or unaffordable and you know the rest of the world is turning a blind eye while you die. how can a person born into one of the wealthiest families of the world, who's never known hunger or thirst, who's never lacked...how can i judge them? ignore them? forget them?

"rats and roaches live by competition under the law of supply and demand; it is the priviledge of human beings to live under laws of justice and mercy."
-wendell berry
.....

at work i've been making posters. so far i've made four. while i'm slightly enjoying being able to express a bit of creativity, i'm very uncontent with the work. especially when i see patients (what few that we have) go behind the doctors door and recieve medications that i could administer myself. i'm very displeased with the responsibility of the nurses, which mostly has been writing down a patients name and carrying water...until now....now i'm making posters.

....

i've discussed with the doctor my ideas of sending two of us nurses out to the community to do a sort of door to door education program. this isn't what i really would love to do, but i'm sort of desperate to do something...and i feel better walking about this town speaking with strangers rather than sitting in a mostly empty clinic all day. even when it's not empty i feel there's not much point to me being there. it doesn't seem the doctor trusts her nurses to do so much as an IM shot, much less start one of the few IV administrations she's ordered. anyways...there's always excuses about why something won't work, can't work...and if there's no excuses then my prodding seems to typically be ignored. and my mother will tell you how well i feel to being ignored.

...i'm not really sure how all this is going to work out really.

......
BESIDES that...
the social life of cameroon is vey busy...well...mine is. the tradition is that if someone invites you out then they buy your drinks AND they feed you...i've been invited out quite a bit by work friends, friends of those friends, and often by complete strangers. please trust that i'm making wise choices and i hope you can believe i only go out with the ones i know...despite the temptation of grilled meat & onions, fish, plantain, boiled egg (all served with a side of a hot pepper mixture), and free beer. i'm really amazed at the generosity, but every time i go to thank them they seem utterly confused.
it's really enjoyable to go out though. i enjoy watching everyone, seeing everyone interact and talk and rest. the people are very free. by free, i mean that they dance, eat, dress and enjoy freely. i love to watch them dance!it seems the music enters their blood and their body responds. i'm amazed that even the babies can move their booties like professionals. it'd take years for me to acquire the skill of some of these three year olds, i'm telling you! but since i only have a few months to learn, i'm trying to make the most of it :) it's not very difficult to let go though, because their music is GREAT! i'm definitely going to have to get some cds....or something!

oh! and if i'm out later than 630 (close to dark) i'm always seen directly home by at least one or two friends. i hope this comforts a few of you :) a girl i met from belgium was telling me about all the different crimes she has heard of since being here, and since that one day at the clinic with the girl who came in who'd been mugged midday i've been properly scared of being out after dark alone...which probably is wise anyways. i just always wish i could be brave...be above all of that crime business... no worries, family. i don't think i'll overcome my fear of the dark anytime soon.



permalink written by  theresa on November 13, 2009 from Douala, Cameroon
from the travel blog: to africa
tagged Healthcare, Friends, Africa and Poverty
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5 am

Douala, Cameroon

...i'm giving out something, i'm not sure what...the details are fuzzy now. my eyes are open and i realize it was a dream anyways. i dream every night here. i never wake up and wonder where i am. maybe once. i recognize the sound of a rooster close by calling to the sun. this is my alarm typically. even though i set one, i find myself listening to the roosters. as i listen in the darkness (it's still dark so early), i hear an army of roosters; their calls sounding from every curve and bend of the mountain. i lie there, still. at times i will roll over and jot my morning thoughts. at other times i'll read with old oswald and consider my purpose for a while. yesterday morning i knew i had work to do so my time was shorter than most.

i first i gathered my dirty laundry together. while waiting for the water to boil, i checked my mail, hauled a few buckets of water from the tap to the house, and swept my bedroom out. to sweep we use a handful of little twigs tied together. nice. so when the water was hot, i added some detergent powder to my clothes and poured the hot water over it. then comes the scrubbing. i typically do this outside next to the water tap. i sit on a small wooden stool and rigourously massage the clothes til i'm sure their sore....at least my arms say they should be! i realize as i'm washing that mosquitoes have overtaken my body in various small red locations. i have to break for bug repellent and then back to work. i usually drain the dirty water and rinse them 2 or 3 times...wringing them out like twisty noodles each time. then i hang them to dry, displaying the white man's intimates for all to see. and due to the disturbing smell of my linens, i decide to wash them as well. bug repellent and sweat just don't let things stay clean long. i hope it doesn't rain.

(note: when it does rain...you have a bit of nature's own aura. a white mist that resembles ash starts drizzling from the sky. the first time i saw this i started to cover my face and squint my eyes. i tried to reach out and wave it away. my friend laughed and explained the situation. it's as if the entire town is encapsulated by cloud. and then the winds come, howling against the banana and mango trees, rattling the pans against the pots and blowing the african dresses to the ground. and then the rains come, sometimes in floods...as if God warmed His own pot of water and decided to do some scrubbing.)

after laundry, i warmed another pot of water. the dishes were stacked and begging to be washed. i'd leave them, but ants and gnats would have a festival and overtake the place thinking we invited them. as i washed, there's another pot boiling in preperation to rinse. and after rinsing i spilled some extra water on the ground to mop the traffic residue from the cement floor. then i filled up 8 of our water bottles with water from the outside tap. these fill my own water bottle and the doc boils them to use them for drinking water and lemongrass tea (some sort of malaria preventative).

this might seem like a lot of work, but it's normal for the average person. and probably it's easier, because many women have to do this for their entire family...AND they have to cook! (which i have not excelled at yet. my one attempt led to a smokey house and disgusting, unreparable mixture.)

the real work comes with washing myself! i typically boil some water, unless i'm in a hurry, in which case i suffer beneath a showerhead spewing less than comfortable cold water. with the boiling water, i dilute to make a larger amount of rinse less scalding. i use a bowl to pour it over me, washing and rinsing as i go. i've learned i have to scrub VERY well to get all the bug repellent residue off of my skin. ...and then i reapply after i return to my room (but not before i squeegee out the bathroom floor) i can't wait for the day i don't have to wear bug repellent.

so, that's what a work morning looks like. i have these maybe once or twice a week. surprisingly, my favorite thing to do is laundry. my least favorite...is doing the dishes. some things don't change.

permalink written by  theresa on November 12, 2009 from Douala, Cameroon
from the travel blog: to africa
tagged Africa and Morning
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here's hoping!

Douala, Cameroon

let's just assume i must be the most indecisive, confused person in the world...probably it's not true, but... i do have a difficult time deciding things. which you probably would find surprising, since i did at least decide to come all the way to africa...but i never planned on having to decide anything else for the next 4 months (which now it's about 3 more months...or so)...

i was sitting outside a friends home waiting for their return and decided to "beep" my mom. it's really too expensive to call her from my cellphone, so this was my attempt to get her to call me back...but i heard her voice for only a moment and couldn't handle it! speaking with her for only once in three weeks was too little! so i went to call her from an international call box (much cheaper, bad connection..always). was good to catch up...even if it was for only 15 minutes. i used to call her twice a day for triple that each time!!!!

NOTE: "beeping" is the cameroonian tradition of calling a person and hanging up the moment it begins to ring. this is a way to say many different things, including "hi" "call me back" "i'm waiting for you" "where are you?" "here's my number" etc etc etc. it all depends on the situation. one of the main reasons beeping came into existence is probably because of the expense of airtime. people have the tendency to speak on the phone for less than 2 minutes and to hang up without saying goodbye.

anyways ...my mom chewned me (scolded me) for not writing on this as much as i had hoped. the reason for this is mainly my discouragement with the work i've been doing. you see, it's nothing like what i intended to be doing. speaking with the program director and with the doctor, i had acquired images in plenty of what kind of medical care i would be given the opportunity to provide along side a quoted "amazing, dedicated" doctor. i honestly tried to have no expectations but after being here for 3 weeks i realize i very much had expectations. those expectations included joining in the assessments, providing nursing care, and visiting the difficult to reach poor to provide the same. the first two i've seen in VERY limited amounts....and the last...on no accounts.

i've been offered the opportunity to move elsewhere in cameroon, but even that position isn't what i was looking for. it would be very exciting to go to a very rural clinic as a health educator, but i would be the only medical professional...and my intention was to come to learn and be taught tropical medicine for the underpriveledged. while the excitement of travel intices me, i'm thinking perhaps i should remain in the place i have small community and access to some medical professionals who (while the experience has been small) can teach me SOME of what i came to learn.

the up side to all of this is that things may change. i had the opportunity to be uber honest with the doctor about my frustration with the lack of patient care and after confessing some of my misgivings about staying, it seemed that she also wanted somethings to change.

just to clarify, i do not blame her for the amount of patients that walk through our door. obviously she doesn't have much power in controlling who gets sick with what. what she does have in her control (so i assume) is putting 3 sometimes 4 nurses to work instead of allowing them to sit, staring at eachother for 8+ hours a day. so i have her some ideas about how to do that. for instance, setting up a booth on a busy street so that we can take people's blood pressures and educate them on heart disease and high blood pressure. another idea was to send us out to the community and allow us to knock on doors and do health education visits. and all the while we would be promoting our clinic facility...hopefully encouraging more patients to come. she liked some of my ideas and the beginning of this week already has been an improvement.

yesterday was promising. we drove (unfortunate...because i would've rather hiked through forests to find them!) out to one village and went door to door a little bit. not for any health education yet, but only to set up contacts and make plans for the future endeavours(hopefully sooner than later). this village is quite isolated, except they at least have water, electricity, and a road (tho very bumpy...and in the rainy season i hear it's impassable). so...it was VERY nice to be out of the office showing the people that we really do want to reach them and provide some medical care. in this visit i personally found the doc a little judgemental on how the people came to live in this condition. their houses were definitely run down and clothes were worn and ragged and babies ran around half dressed. you could blame all of this on alcohol if you wanted i suppose. i just like to know the facts though...before i make accusations like that. and even if it is alcohol that they spend the majority of their income on... to really understand them and their circumstances you have to ask why? and what? and who? i can only imagine the structural injustices they face each day. what circumstances of life and government have kept them in the position that they are? "grasshoppers don't have much hope in the face of hungry chickens. " -(something like that) from paul farmer's book Pathologies of Power

also i began to create some health education posters....and i always enjoy putting some of my creativity on display, so....it was fun for me!

so here's to looking up and hoping for more.
miss you all.




permalink written by  theresa on November 10, 2009 from Douala, Cameroon
from the travel blog: to africa
tagged Healthcare and Change
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transfer

Douala, Cameroon

just for quick update. today we saw three patients. nothing very exciting really... i'm a bit discouraged at the influx of patients really. today was actually a busy day except that two of these patients had previously been seen and the responsibilities of the nurses (three of us) is very limited anyways...despite the shortage of patients. and the other discouraging thing was that today we had a patient that had been mugged down the street. her hand was bleeding. we had a couple cotton swabs and water only because the doctor had left and always locks the medical supplies away...even first aid supplies... so this is something i'm going to address tomorrow...hopefully it will go well...

besides that... africa is good. i'm learning a lot. i may be transfering to a very small clinic that hasn't seen a nurse before....so...more news on that soon hopefully!

permalink written by  theresa on November 6, 2009 from Douala, Cameroon
from the travel blog: to africa
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plans

Douala, Cameroon


more flowers
so... i've been a big failure about keeping updated..haha. and this really won't make up for it i'm sure.

the clinic here is a very small private clinic. it's located slightly off the road. the town here has a few other large hospitals and several other small clinics similar to my own. patients are....a delicacy. they come in spurts...if they come at all. our busiest days are saturdays obviously since we are open during the week during normal business hours so perhaps (hopefully) these people have jobs that they are busy carrying out. but even saturdays run slow.

the typical patient presents with c/o reoccurring fever for the last 3 or so days. blood cultures are drawn, malaria is diagnosed (unless it's typhoid). they are given their medications and they are directed to rest if they can, and remember to use their mosquito net...because repellent and malaria prophylaxis medications are much to expensive for the average client. one university director i was speaking with about malaria imposed the question that: what if the majority doesn't consider malaria even an issue? what if the average patient considers malaria equal to the way the average american considers the common cold: somewhat preventable, but likely to occur at least once a year.
unfortunately, the sad fact is that even tho so many survive malaria and are cured so many more die from malaria. those people that die are likely the ones that perhaps don't have the funds for a mosquito net. perhaps they don't have funds for the medication needed to treat malaria. perhaps they don't have funds to even see the doctor about it. or they can't make it to a hospital at all...perhaps they don't know where malaria even comes from. most of these facts i think would be apparent for other parts of cameroon and africa. fortunately, in this area of cameroon there are facilities to cooperate with the poor public, like mine. but what about the rest of africa? really...how do we reach them?

sorry...that's all i can write for now... missing you all!

permalink written by  theresa on November 5, 2009 from Douala, Cameroon
from the travel blog: to africa
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2 weeks in!

Douala, Cameroon

wow. so what should i write about? the shortage of supplies in the hospitals and clinics? the professionals i find: intelligent, hard working, graduates with good degrees, while also jobless, or having a job and being cheated their pay? supposedly some nurses pay out of their own pocket to provide a patient with unaffordable care. while others have experienced nurses who won't care for them until they are 'tipped.' one blood pressure cuff shared by different departments (including the emergency room). lack of alcohol and cotton! three women who've given birth share one room with eachother and the respective newborns. scales that are broken (i know i haven't gained 25 pounds in 2 weeks!!!). the ambulance is more often used to carry the dead to their barrial site than the injured to the hospital. sometimes medications are unavailable. ...i'm not sure where there's corruption, someone sitting and eating the funds themself or perhaps the government really can't afford financing it's hospitals adequately. ...it's really unfathomable facing the difficulties that the population here have lived with all their lives. jobs are scarce, even with great degrees. preference is pushed to the wayside while necessity or desperation takes over. i'm humbled, hey? i'm embarrassed at times. embarrassed to see such deprivation when the world i know has such an excess. embarrassed that so often we look at inequality and poverty and call it culture.
i feel very blessed.
one thing is sure, these people...they are rich with family and friends. the people i've met are kind, generous, and hard hard workers. i've really been taken care of well! :)

hopefully more soon! love you all...

permalink written by  theresa on October 31, 2009 from Douala, Cameroon
from the travel blog: to africa
tagged Healthcare, Corruption and Shortabg
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the clinic

Douala, Cameroon

today was my first day of visiting the clinic.

i went there with ketch after i took an inventory of the items i brought from the US.
it's one large room that you walk into with long school bench seating along the edges. there is a desk a few feet in with a dark woman dressed in white seated behind it. i took a right to the doctors office and checked a room with two beds and an IV pole to one side....and ahead the doctors office. a desk piled with papers and educational literature, a wall stacked beside meager sums of medical supplies. i saw old glass vials of ampicillin along with packages of sterile NS and LR. there were no filtering syringes...no iv bags made specifically for certain vials...

this day we only had perhaps 4 patients. we took two vitals of each patient: temperature and blood pressure...filled out their patient forms on pages that smelt of time and let them wait til the doctor came to retrieve them...or merely called from her chamber.

mostly in this day we sat. we waited for patients. we read from my tropical medicine book, which i'm very happy to bring here. the other nurses and pathophysiologists found great entertainment among her pages.

dingha's laboratory
zinger showed me the basics to labratory testing of syphilis, malaria, and typhoid, which was very exciting. it seemed very ancient to me. the bottles seemed old and used, as did the supplies. due to lack of supply, the experienced bloodworker had to reuse supplies he would have otherwise disposed of. little things like the most basic of eye droppers. everyone was very kind and patient with me...even if they had to explain something twice...even if they didn't have to, but due to hindered communication levels just THOUGHT they had to...

and afterwards helen, and zinger, and franklin and i (all in the medical profession) met at a local pub for grilled beef and onions on a stick and some amstel lager...we spoke of climbing the mountain and furthering our careers and enjoying our families.

it was a good good night.
and it ended with rice and beans!!

and tomorrow we'll go to the community to teach...and to inform of some extra test we will be performing on saturday. i'm looking forward!!

permalink written by  theresa on October 19, 2009 from Douala, Cameroon
from the travel blog: to africa
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day 2

Douala, Cameroon


flowers outside my home here
1) i'm surprised to have such available internet access. i probably won't be able to write everyday, but will do what i can. plus, this computer has quite a virus and is unfortunately completely inaccessible at times.

2)the doctor...
i was able to speak with her a bit about why she does what she does (and what that exactly is!) i am happy to say that ann from NGOabroad has fitted me with quite a perfect match...of course it takes time, but hearing the doctor talk this morning was so encouraging.


the door to my home...

she's a medical doctor, educated in northern africa...she could've gone to europe, U.S.A, or wherever and made much more than she does here, but
"why would i work to earn more money? money fades away. i can pay my bills. i can eat. staying in cameroon, i can help people," she says (a slight paraphrase). she has chosen to serve the poor and underpriveledged, to make meager earnings, and be happy.

i'm also happy to find that she believes in God quite faithfully and simply. her lifestyle is so christian that it really softens and moves me. i'm really excited about being under her roof during my stay here.


around my home...

today i helped cook a chicken dish with palm oil, garlic, and ginger...also we used the huckleberry (not honeysuckle)...and we ate a paste like bread called 'fu fu' (sp?). i liked it!
i think i am surprising them with my ever-willing eating habits.
i suppose after eating my mom's cooking for so long, i've been prepared to eat anything..(.including chicken feet! (and they gave me the heart!!) (jokes about your cooking, mom! i love your cooking...and would kill for some meatloaf!)


my bedroom. nice.

love you all.

p.s.
i appreciated a segment from oswald's book today:
'"the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit..' ro. 5:5. ...it is that love in me that effectively works thru me & comes in contact witheveryone i meet. i remain faithful to his name, even tho the commensense view of my life may seemingly deny that...and {even tho my life} may appear to be declaring that He has no more power than the morning mist.",
is it possible to at the same time "remain faithful" when it seems like the your life declares otherwise? .
i suppose he sees deeper than the "commonsense view" of things.
Thankfully.



permalink written by  theresa on October 18, 2009 from Douala, Cameroon
from the travel blog: to africa
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day 1

Douala, Cameroon

my first meal in cameroon consisted of fish and rice and sauce. the fish reminded me of a very fishy trout...with little bones, good meat, and the skin still left on it. it's round and long with one bone through the center. it made for a delicious first...and second...and third meal :)

after that the doctor's daughter and i went to market. it was brilliantly busy with MANY buildings made with a pole at each corner, a tin roof, and some had something similar to seedsacks laying on the floor to keep it clean. there were vegetables, spices, and fruits of all kind. (2 small pineapples selling for 500 franks (1 dollar=450 franks!). People shop very locally around here! :) We even bought a chicken (a live one) and carried it home (tomorrow we'll eat it). ....For a chicken about to lose her life, she was very well-behaved.
I was looking for some pants (i DEFINITELY could have worn my own), and stepped into the 'dressing room.' (there were more pants around me. no mirror.) ...it's quite an adventure.
fortunately, i felt that i'm not as famous here as i was in India. more people smiled at me in a friendly way, than in a "i can't take my eyes off of you" kind of thing. i did get hissed at only a couple times and it took me back to bolivia for a moment. phht phht...
i feel like a child at times. slightly dumb since i'm unable to communicate very clearly with people. lucky for me this is primarily an english speaking area and the only thing really holding me back is catching on to the accent. it must be what newbies experience in the heart of kentucky with our "ya'lls" and "ain'ts".

when we returned from market, the daughter and i worked for half an hour to an hour on peeling ginger and garlic. my mom would probably be proud of me, but offended that i don't work as hard at home! (sorry mom!)

then i went to take a short nap...which turned into three hours. i thought night shift would make the time change easier but i find myself very sleepy. of course, it is only the end of the first day.

speaking more with the doctor about the kind of work that we will do is very interesting. we've talked about a lot of ideas i hadn't thought of when it comes to community healthcare. i'm very eager to work bedside her and learn....

all for now! love you all!

permalink written by  theresa on October 17, 2009 from Douala, Cameroon
from the travel blog: to africa
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