Working...
On account of the fact that my current idea of Looking For Work consists of writing down phone numbers out of the paper then not actually calling them my job at Family bar is still my only source of income but this is fine because they give me loads of hours and I do really enjoy it there despite the fact drunk people drool a lot and like to shout their order directly into your brain and I have to empty my ear canals of saliva after every shift.
They also ask questions that annoy me, the current one being, "Where is everybody?" when they walk in early and the bar is still empty. Where is everybody. Well I don't know mate, I'm not everybody's fucking mother, shall I just call everybody in Auckland and ask them? I'd consult my magic crystal ball but it's in the shop being calibrated for Dumb Questions. Or maybe they just heard you'd be out and decided to stay at home tonight?

But anyway, most of my nights are spent there getting a room full of queers drunk.

Working Out...
Since I got back to Auckland I've eaten a lot of food and not actually moved much because I live across the road from work. This has resulted in rolls of fat that could insulate the whole of Siberia but as I wish to continue eating cake and drinking beer I joined the gym. All this did was make me sweat in an unpleasant manner and I discovered that I actually look thinner when I lie down anyway so I decided to spend as much time as possible horizontal instead, cancelled the membership after a month and used the spare cash to get a tattoo.

Getting Inked...
Shit I forgot how much these things hurt! It took about 3.5 hours to engrave this thing permanently into my flesh and there was a fair amount of butt clenching involved, especially when it got to the crook of my elbow.

And the healing? Christ they itch! They itch and they flake, there's bits of me all over the bar. I strongly advise everyone to check their drinks after getting served by me for signs of shedding.

I'd already told my mum over the phone I was getting this done so she didn't freak out when she saw the photos and she took the news quite well although I had just told her I was dating a dominatrix just minutes earlier so this was probably just a return to normality for her.

Treading The Path Of Discovery...
So I recently discovered that jalepenos burn more on the way back up than on the way down especially when they exit the body via the nostrils and as a direct result of this valuble lesson I am never eating jalapenos when I'm that hung over ever again.

Contemplating Fashion...
I watched the Phantom Of The Opera movie coz I'm all classy and sophisticated like that and now I want a big, black cape that I can swish when I exit the room.
I've also been fighting the urge to buy oversized, grey sweatpants to veg out in through the winter on account of the fact I'm sure it's compulsory to position yourself on the couch with hands down aforementioned grey sweat pants whilst watching TV and I don't have any testicles to rearrange and I'd just feel like I was missing out on something.

Jumping Off Stuff...
Because this will never get dull. My mate Alyssa wanted to jump off something before she left NZ and I'd had my little heart set on jumping off the Auckland Harbour Bridge and Telaina was easily coerced into it when she was drunk ("Wanna come jump off the bridge on Monday?" "Yeah Ok...") so on the 15th June we duly rocked up to be harnessed up and lead out to the jump pod underneath the bridge. And here's a random detail; the jump pod has a disco ball. There's really no escaping the gay bar in this city ay.

As much as I love classic bungy where you shuffle to the edge with your feet tied and bounce around upside down wondering what the hell to do with your arms, seeing as I'd done it before, they asked me if I wanted to jump attached to the harness around my body instead, that way I could run and jump off if I so chose to. Fucking awesome! I went for that option.

Alyssa And Telaina; Jump Buddies

Alyssa Harnessed Up

One More Time

Off She Goes Again

Telaina On The Edge

When you do a harness jump they throw jump ideas at you such as jump, tuck and somersault or as you jump, turn and look back at the jump pod and fall backwards because this is an awesome feeling. Bitch, please! I wasn't even sure I'd remember to let go of the elastic I had to hold on to as I ran to avoid tripping over, let alone anything else. And run? What is this run of which you speak? I resembled a crippled giraffe as I lolloped along the platform to the edge and hurled myself over but I did remember to let go of the elastic AND I rememebered to turn around and shit yes! It's a fucking amazing feeling as you plummet towards the water, watching the bridge get further and further away from you before the harness catches you resulting in what can only be described as the Mother Of All Wedgies.

I still dream about bungy but as fun as the water touches are, I'm thinking I wanna get bigger now. Higher jumps, longer freefalls, bigger thrills.

I await the panicked phone call off mum.

Thinking Deep Thoughts...
Is it a condition of power ballads that you have to resemble a drag queen in order to belt out these great hits of the 80s?

written by  Claire on July 1 from Auckland, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
tagged Bollocks
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I want the buzz back.

I want that feeling I used to get when I first saw a perfect beach, when I watched the sun go down over the ocean, when I jumped into a freezing cold waterfall for the first time or hiked to the top of a mountain purely for the breathtaking views at the top.
I want to feel that nervous excitement again, I want to I step out into the unknown, not knowing fully what to expect. I want my stomach to do flips at the thought of setting out on a new journey with new people I met at the dinner table over a box of wine the night before, I want every new place to be fresh and exciting again, each place with its own adventure to offer and not just another town in another country with another beach or whatever.
Going to new and beautiful places, doing new things, meeting new people constantly, every day, became my life for three years and I realised that this, for me, has become normal and normality is... well... its boring isn't it. The boundaries of my comfort zone have expanded so much since I left the UK and whilst I don't want them to shrink back in I want to find a way to step outside of them again because life is always so much more fun, so much more exciting and colourful on the other side of the Comfort Line.

So. A year in Auckland is it while I sort my head out and make some life decisions and yes, I'm questioning the wisdom of building a whole, proper life in a city that I have to leave in 12 months but what else am I going to do? On account of the fact I'd spent most of my 6 months in Auckland holed up in Muriwai with an overweight bisexual with the emotional capacity of a gnat I had kind of expected to have to start from scratch but I have some awesome friends in this city and that circle has just grown since I got back. I have my job back at Family Bar and a place to live with my very own room which means I can leave my crap all over the floor and no one can say a damn thing and after so long sharing a room with four to ten other people it's fucking brilliant. I can sleep naked. And I can unpack! I don't own that much stuff though so I've just spread everything out to all four corners to make it look like everything I own wouldn't fit into an 80 litre backpack. I even bought furniture... well... a mattress and a book case to store my clothes but hey. I feel so grown up.

I had expected this Normal Life bollocks to be boring but I guess you can't really consider my life to be entirely normal, the shifts I work, the people I hang out with and the lack of routine won't allow that but in all honesty I don't cope very well with Normal anyway. This way I have the best of both worlds. I get to settle in one place for a year and still have a fucking amazing time with an incredible set of friends who are already making my time here one of the most memorable and fun periods of my life. It's going to be so hard to leave Auckland when my visa expires but that's a while off yet and yes, time will fly by but I fully intend to make the most of it.

And as for the next stop? I don't even know yet. Maybe South Africa as I have mates there or prehaps South America because I've had my little heart set on it for a while. Whatever. I don't know.

That decision can wait until 2010.

written by  Claire on April 20, 2009 from Auckland, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
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KT, Nadia And Me

Now here's the thing about me and heights; They've always made me a little bit nervous, I believe that if humans were meant to be that high up we'd have been given longer legs but I've spent the last three years trying to condition myself out of this and so far I think I'm doing pretty well. But still. When Kati lead us out onto the Sky Walk platform and instructed us to let go of our harnesses and shuffle right to the edge, toes over and look down, mate, seriously, I was so fucking tense. It was a half hour buttock work out right there as I forced myself over to the side which was unnervingly close anyway.

Then it was time for a 20 minute stroll around the Sky Tower as Kati told us bits and pieces about the city I was to call home for a year, about the volcanos that surround it etc. I wish I could remember some of the facts to write here but they pretty much left my brain as soon as the entered it on account of the fact my head was still trying to get itself around why it was so high up without a railing. The view is fucking stunning though, its so awesome, such a beautiful city. And its the first time I've seen Auckland without the Sky Tower being in the picture.

Once we were safely back on solid ground we changed out of our bright orange jump suits and into a rather fetching blue and yellow outfit which Nadia prefered because it made her look more like a super hero and less like a death row convict. I have to admit though, I was more worried about the walk than the jump, after The Nevis anything would be possible but still, my mouth was dry and my palms were sweaty, it was like all the moisture had left my gob and gone straight to my hands. It's weird, if I don't have to jump off something I don't like letting go but as soon as I have to go over the edge it's all good. I'm over and falling and loving it.

The Sky Jump is the highest jump in NZ but it's nothing like bungy or the Canyon Swing, it's too controlled. Once you're over the edge there's no freefall, they just lower you down a bit quickly until you reach the bottom where you have to remember to put your feet down and bend your knees or you'll find out what the landing pad tastes like and it might take a while to locate all your teeth. Even if you do remember the landing is far from dignified, you'll probably end up on your hands and knees anyway but it's still worth getting your feet under you if you like the way your face looks.

Loving This Jump Suit

Hovering Over Auckland

But I hard out recommend the walk. The jump is cool too just to say you've done it but either way its a HUGE thank you to Kati for sorting us out with this. Massively appreciated and it totally made my week. Now all I need to do is find a new obsession...

After three years on the road and not spending more than 6 months in one place it should prove interesting to say the least. Updates will be provided when stuff and things happen and also to let my mum know I'm still alive.

written by  Claire on March 5, 2009 from Rotorua, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
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Right...?

Clearly I'd never been trekking on the east cape of NZ before, Reg who runs the horse trekking at Rangitukia has very different ideas, he "breaks all the rules of commercial horse trekking," there would be no nose-to-tail meandering, you would be in control of the horse and not the other way around and you were free to wander where ever you wanted at whatever pace you felt like.

I waved goodbye to my comfort zone and jumped onto my horse, Avante.

You get a really good trek for your money. Paul, one of our group, owns a horse back in Scotland and is very comfortable on horseback so him and Reg went galloping up the beach while the rest of us tried to work out where the Go Button was on our animal. I managed to get mine into something resembling a trot before I decided my arse couldn't take that kind of bouncing and slowed it back down to a pleasant meandering pace. We trekked through the fields to the beach then across a river and up to a hill where we chilled for a bit before heading back down to the backpackers. If you only do one horse trek in NZ, do this one.

Totally East As

After a bit more driving and a quick stop to take a photo of the world's most easterly lighthouse we made it to Te Kaha, our last stop of the trip before we would be taken back to Rotorua or Taupo. It's a stunning place. We were taken out in a 6 person waka (canoe) to a beach for a snorkel before we headed back for a feed. We were meant to have written a song to sing at this stop but we'd discovered the hot tub by this time and after probably the most amazing sunset I've ever seen me, Chris, Gemma and Paul settled into the tub with a box of wine and remained there for the ensuing five hours until we resembled drunken prunes.

So much for my relaxing little cruise around the East Cape. The top half of me ached from rock sliding and the bottom half of me ached from horse trekking and my head ached from all the cask wine, I wanted another 4 day bus ride to recover from it, preferably somewhere flat with not much to do apart from knit and play bridge.

Nah, I jest, I recommend this trip to anyone, I really do and Te Kaha with its stunning sunsets, good hospitality and hot tub right next to the ocean is a perfect end to an awesome trip.

written by  Claire on March 4, 2009 from Te Kaha, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt, NorthIsland and EastAs
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Here's the thing about watching the sunrise an all, it's really really pretty but you can't fucking look at it unless you want a series of half suns floating around your vision for 20 minutes.

Sunrise Over Tatapouri

Once the early morning Becoming Human process was complete we were picked up by a small Brazilian man called Leo who drove us out to a natural rockslide on the other side of Gisbourne. He'll kit you out in a wetsuit, hand you something vaguely resembling a body board with handles and you get to spend the morning throwing yourself down this slope covered in algae with water running down it. It's fucking awesome! You can steer it down by putting your hands in the water to keep it straight and when you hit the bottom you bounce but you really have to make sure your tongue is well out of the way of your teeth.

Rock Sliding

How Many Backpackers Does It Take To Start A Van?

We entertained ourselves with a few races watched by a rather bewildered looking sheep before heading back to the bus and spending half an hour trying to bump start it. Apparently this is a regular thing yet still it doesn't occur to him to invest in jump leads. Or, and here's a crazy idea, a new battery.

Once we were delivered safely back to Renz we meandered towards Rangitukia via the longest jetty in NZ. Yeah yeah, I took a photo but it's not as long as the one in Bussleton, WA, and to be fair, how many photos of jettys does one blog need?
There's a BBH backpackers in Rangitukia, its really nice and all, I totally recommend it and you can arrange a couple of activities from there such as horse trekking and bone carving, a traditional Maori artform. There was also an option for possum hunting but the guy who arranges that wasn't around so no novelty nipple warmers made from the skins of dead pests for me today.
About a 10 minute walk from here is another place you can watch the sunrise but getting up at that hour AND walking (or shuffling) for 10 minutes just didn't appeal to me and hey, you've seen one sunrise you've seen them all right?

However, the bone pendant carving I totally recommend. Its like $60 and they take you through the whole process so the finished product is something you could give to someone and they wouldn't have to find an excuse to store it in the bottom drawer and you ARE meant to give it to someone, bone carvings are meant to be gifts so I made one for Loody.

Piece Of Cow

Proper Artist, Me

Bit Of Powdered Cow

Finished Product

Traditionally the Maoris used whale bone but since whales became protected they're only allowed to use the bones of whales that die naturally. Fair enough. These days they use cattle bone and this is what we would be carving. There are heaps of different designs to chose from and they have different meanings. I chose a Hei-Matau for Loody which is basically a stylised fish hook, its meant to provide safety over water and represents a great respect for the sea. Loody's a diver (scuba, muff, you name it) and I used to call her half a fish because she's so at home in the water. I figured it'd be perfect for her.

Anyway, after we'd spent a while breathing in powdered cow and sanded our finished products until they were smooth we settled in for a hangi and made an early night of it on account of another early start the following day.

Hmm. This restful trip wasn't proving to be very restful now was it.

written by  Claire on March 3, 2009 from Rangitukia, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt, NorthIsland and EastAs
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Aaaanyway, I figured I'd get more out of the East Cape with someone to take me places and show me stuff so I booked Kiwi Experience's East As 4 day pass and duly rocked up to the iSite in Rotorua to wait for my bus and whilst its not actually overly big and there wouldn't be much fucking its most definately green. That'd do for me. I'm getting old now y'know.

The East As Bus

The coolest thing about these buses is that you can have everything planned for you if thats what you want and after a two month action packed tourist whirlwind it was exactly what I wanted, you're given a list of activites and accomodation and all you have to do it put a tick by what you want and the driver will book it all for you. A mate of mine had told me not to expect to much adventure round the East Cape either, I was looking forward to a relaxing, stress free little jaunt around the coast.

The first overnight stop was Tatapouri, not too far from Gisborne. On the way, Renz, our driver told us all about how this stretch of coastline was home to some of the best surfers around, she told us that around here they had some of the best breaks in the country as the waves lapped gently on the shore. Not the best example of extreme surfing action but hey, this was the east coast, its all about the chill out, right?

We stayed at a place whos name a forget but for a small fee they can keep you entertained by way of shark cage diving and stingray feeding and they'll arrange surfing or rock sliding trips for you. Shark cage diving was out on account of my dwindling budget but we donned some sexy waders and walked out onto the reef at low tide armed with buckets of fish to interfere with the natural order of things and feed us some stingrays.

Stingray Feeding

And Stingray Mauling

This is so fucking cool! Seriously, they come right up to you for a feed, you have to hold the fish down and kind of under them and they suck it up like a vacuum cleaner and some of these rays are huge. They come up for a pat as well, even if they don't want fish they'll still come up so you can stroke them and I now want one as a pet, I figure I could keep it in the shower. There was a large, pregnant one too, she was massive and she kept knocking into me and nearly taking my feet out from under me. I swear the bitch had it in for me.

Later on, after an awesome feed we chilled out and drank some wine and generally got to know each other. There were 8 of us plus the driver, just a small group which I like, not least coz I stand more of a chance remembering everyones names.

Tatapouri

No mean feat when there's a cask on wine on hand.

written by  Claire on March 2, 2009 from Tatapouri, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt, NorthIsland and EastAs
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Here We Go Again

The Only Way To Wake Up

Feral? Me?

written by  Claire on March 1, 2009 from Taupo, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
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Start the day with a bungy, wind down in the evening sat in a vat of hot water interspersed with cold showers because 40 degrees can make you feel like you're being slowly boiled which isn't a good feeling in a country where the natives used to eat Europeans.

View From The Spa

Polynesian Spa

Buuuut lets let the past be past. Stick a fork in me, I'm done.

written by  Claire on March 1, 2009 from Rotorua, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
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Napier; Art Deco Capital Of The World

Quite fitting for a post about a town who's only claim to fame is that it got flattened by an earthquake in the early 30's and rebuilt itself according to the hideous art deco style of the time.

Famous for being ugly. Now there's a tourist attraction a few people I know could exploit.

written by  Claire on February 28, 2009 from Napier, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
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