Back at Home - Which feels strange

Alrightie,

So I am back home and it is the most bizarre feeling in the world. I knew adjusting to life at home would be difficult but I had no idea how much!! I feel so useless, not helped by the fact that I'm not currently working or in school. I miss my kids too, but I'm pretty sure they are breaking up for the Christmas break this Friday. They get lots of time off partly because of Christmas and party because it is the rainy season and the kids just don't show up when it rains- so I think they just shut it down so the government doesn't have to pay the teachers. Anyways, I miss the heat, and my friends, and the staff at the house. Coming home makes me wonder if I did enough when I was there, if I could have tried harder (which I totally could have), if I spent enough time learning swahili, but I have to realize that I can't just keep wondering if I could have done more, I have to realize that what I did was important, and after 4 days, I think I finally am starting to.

It's cold here and I'm freezing, I know it's not that cold, but it's a good 20-25 degrees colder than africa so it is quite a shocker! I am also frustrated with the Christmas/Holiday greed that seems to be going on. I know it always exists but it is easy to get caught up in it when it's all around you, but being away for 2 months just made me realize, that so much of the money people are going to spend on gifts this year could be used to help provide the basics for so many people. Seeing the standards of living in Tanzania, which for some were more luxurious than others, makes me frustrated that so many people in developed countries just close their eyes and pretend not to see what is happening in countries around the world and in their own cities and neighbourhoods. People say, "oh the people in africa are so happy right?" and to that I say, yes, there were people their who were very happy, but there were also the people struggling to feed their families, looking after grandchildren, nieces and nephews that are ophaned because of aids, people who have illnesses that could be treated if only they could afford the medicine. These people are not happy. They look sad, defeated, tired, emotionally empty. So NO not everyone is all smiles and happy. Our saying, "oh they are happy to live that way" is simply a method to ignore reality. So this year, and all years, open your eyes, and think about it, do you really NEED more?? Do you WANT more? Where could that money go, or where could your time go? People struggle all over, and one need not go to Africa, or South America or Asia to "help". Just turn around in your own community and give up something that YOU HAVE, because many DON'T HAVE. I don't even mean money, I just mean, think outside of the bubbles we sometimes live in and think about someone else. Donate money, or time, clean your closet and give away clothes (I know I already did and I'm no where near done), cook something and share it with those who don't have means to do so. Just open your eyes extra wide now, especially at this time of year when society makes it so easy to give!!

Ok, that was quite a ramble, but is frustrating to see people who already have more of their fair share, greedy for more, or just buying things for people because they feel obligated. DON'T. Life here can be hard, I understand that, and I have frequently said that "life is too hard", and I'm sure I will say it again, but right now, I think our lives are too easy. Yes, we get stressed at work and school, and in traffic, and crowds, when we rush to be somewhere. But really, we are lucky enough to be able to go to work and earn wages, to go to school and learn, to have cars to drive in traffic, to go places for fun -so although these are valid feelings, just take a second and think about the larger picture, the global picture, or even the picture of your city, where it is clear that not everyone is on an even playing field, and some are not even playing at all.

This was quite the sociological rant, and that's probably because I'm a sociology major. I learned lots in uni but this trip just heightened my awareness to teh inequity we live in and will continue to live in until something is done. I'm not trying to be a crusader or anything, but I just feel this way. So, if you have no ideas for what to get people for the holidays, or want to try something new, check out www.amanikids.org and check out "how I can help". Two of my students in Tanzania lived at Amani, the home for street children, and seeing that place, I know they do good work, and the kids are being reunited with their families. Anyways, I'm not a preacher so I will stop and let you look at a few photos of my time in Tanzania.

These are just some local kids who came out to play with us.

This is a view from the rooftop bar of the Kindoroko hotel in the center of Moshi. This a popular corner, it had the change bureau, the coffee lounge, the bank and the taxis.

This is on a walk (about 7mins) to the Karanga river in our village. The local kids were swimming there and jumping off the cliffs just having a blast!

This is Wisdom. I think he is the cutest kid, I met him when I was volunteering one day at Amani nursery school in soweto.

This a is "sneaky picture". I took it at a chagga market out of town, near Machame I think. (It's sneaky because I didn't ask permission to photograph, and that is not very respectful- so I only have 2 or 3 market pictures). But I love the colours, this is just very "Afrika" to me.

These are my some of my kids, Sofia, Bahati and Godfrey! I miss them!

Another sneaky picture (except this time I kinda got caught). It's walking back to our village after visiting a kid's home in another village. Such a typical sight!

This is prosper and laurenti's home. It's made of mud and straw, and more mud. It has dirt floors, and two rooms, one for cooking, it has a fire, and the main door for ventilation, and the other room has a bed for the two parents and 5 kids, with only a tiny window for light and air.

This is the view walking along our road in Karanga. That's Kili and I just love the house, it's in the middle of an open field. The house is concrete/cement but has no glass and I'm sure a lot of people live inside because there were always lots of people hanging around outside. And Yes, I'd see kili almost everyday. 6:10am and 6:10pm on the dot it would clear!

This is me and Kalisti, one of the children from Amani Center on our walk home. This was the road we walked everyday. I love that little boy! His mom died because of aids and his dad wasn't on the scence. His grandma couldn't afford to feed him so he begged on the streets and now is mentally disabled due to malnutrition. He's 10 or 11 years old, and loves to give hugs and be hugged!

I'll post more later, let me know what kind of photos you'd like to see!

Salama.-Laura

written by

Laura Collins on November 26, 2008 from Vancouver, Canada

from the travel blog: My Adventure in Tanzania

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Asante sana! Well put and definitely close to how I felt when I came back. Your post came at a perfect time for me (speaking of stressing out about papers and such), and I think I needed it as a gentle reminder that yes indeed, our lives are way easier than we sometimes perceive them to be. Anyway, I'll stop procrastinating and go back to my essay...life is fantastic over here!!

Oodles!

written by Sandra B on November 26, 2008

what an amazing post....thank you for letting me see prosper and his family's home...it makes me feel sad to see 7 people living there...

your views on this holiday have made my views change as well...i definitely agree that we are living in a material-happy world...sometimes we get too wrapped up in it.

i look forward to seeing the rest of your pics!! can't wait for the safari ones!

ps what happened when u sorta got caught taking that pic of the 4 women??

written by shannon on November 27, 2008

you are so lucky to visit these nice places...
thank you for posting this, I'm going to go there myself in the nearest future

written by

wow-traveler on October 7, 2009

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