A Thai wife`s secret weapon

The main weapon of married Thai women on the notorious philandering outside the marrital bed of their cheating husbands is severing their partner`s male organ, often tying the now useless but in the past highly overused male equipment to a hot air balloon, let it fly across the Thai countryside, maybe get picked up by a malignant ghoul or else a benevolent entity from the spirit world.

Dumping this particularly male piece of pride on the family`s garbage heap is also a serious option. Let it rot with the household rejects and when it has become a stinking swollen yellowish shadow of itself, get eaten by the rats and cockroaches. No wonder rats and cockroaches are the only lifeforms that seem to be bigger here in the East than back home in ancient Europe.

As a Farang I`m not supposed to know these little shames of Thai society. Though Thai English written newspapers like the Bangkok Post and the Bangkok Nation are good and informative you won`t find stories relating to the P*nis Severance hobby of Thai wives that have little horns growning out of their heads, horns that seem to grow and grow. By the time the poor thing is old she can hardly keep her head up because of the sheer weight.

Move to the Thai written newspapers and these stories seem to be all over the second and thrid page often with accompanying gory and bloodily detailed photos of the male victim.

Prostition in the Land of the Thais is not one-gender victimised!!!

However allow me to be non-judgemental on prostition in this weird Asian nation. My male Farang spirit, my Phii as the Thais call it, has already long ago lost its capacity to deal with the world as a whole, let alone this crazy sh*t!!!

Back in Na Thon I take up residence in a small no-name guest house for a meagre 80 Baht, I presume I could return to the Nathon Residence but I would rather not get "brutalised" by the Chinese receptionist lady who had an obvious interest in the shorttime trade and could very well get furious when she finds out I might have certain romantic feelings for a Chinese lady from Beijing but no interest in a Chinese receptionist lady with aspirations as a full time h**ker!!!

My new accomodation might be a dump with a thin matrass that, I have no doubt, is full to overflow weith bedbugs waiting axciously for me to switch off the light switch so they can do their bloody work on my weary body that contains a mind by that time to drunk to notice.

At least this place is situated above an internet cafe so I can surf to www.gameknot.com to play some games of chess, challenge me if you dare.

written by  heraclio on May 1, 2009 from Ko Samui, Thailand
from the travel blog: Farang Chronicles.
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