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Shameless Tourist

Melbourne, Australia


This post has been delayed a while because I haven't quite been able to work out how to break this to you. I've been wanting to tell you, I really have but I was scared about how you'd react, I don't know if I could have taken the disappointment but I'm just gonna come right out and say it.

Last Monday I went on the Official Neighbours Tour and I liked it!

There, I said it.

It's a condition of entry into Melbourne that you go on this tour, I chose Tour B for $40 because it meant I got to meet Dr Karl which would have only be surpassed by meeting Harold but because they were filming at Pin Oak Court that day I did manage to get a stalker-esque photo of Harold leaving the set in his car.

Monday nights are Meet The Stars nights down the Elephant And Wheelbarrow in St Kilda and Dr Karl's band, Waiting Room were playing but it's an extra $35 to get in. I didn't really want to spend a total of $75 on a show I don't actually watch, I would have been mocked and ridiculed.

Even more mocked and ridiculed.

Anyway if you'll please excuse me, I'm off to get a life.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on October 20, 2006 from Melbourne, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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The B100

Apollo Bay, Australia


Left Melbourne: 22/10/06
Arrived Adelaide:26/10/06

Despite the fact I've been unemployed since the end of September I still haven't had time to write up the Great Ocean Road thing that I did with a bloke called Kliff from Burnley that I met in a hostel in Melbourne. There are words for people as lazy as me but some of them aren't printable in a blog that your Grandparents might possibly read.

Aaaaanyway, despite the date at the top of this post I'm writing this at the end of November so my memory may be a little hazy on account of all the goon (cheap cask wine) I've drank since then. I have decided to overcome this with the aid of Bullet Points because Bullet Points make things look tidy and important even though it's usually a load of mindless dross. This is also the reason I use Bullet Points in my CV.


Day One

  • Stocked up on obligatory munchies then promptly got lost a mere 10 minutes out of St Kilda.


  • Finally worked out which wiggly lines on the map lead where and made it to the highway.


  • Stopped in Torquay to watch the surfers. The water on that coast is always freezing cold, seriously, my nipples hurt just watching them.


  • * Wondered about the signs all up the Great Ocean Road that say "Drive On The Left In Australia." If you've gotten this far without noticing the other drivers veering out of your way as you cruise on up the right hand side then maybe you shouldn't be driving on any side in Australia. Or anywhere else for that matter. Do you even have a license? Fools.

    * Stopped at Split Point Lighthouse in Aireys Inlet. Its better known as the Round The Twist lighthouse (and you know you'll be humming that theme tune for the rest of the day) although I think I was slightly more excited by it than Kliff. We didn't bother going in though, its $12.50 for the tour and I didn't like the show that much (it is at this point that I hope no one remembers that I spent $40 doing a tour for a TV show I rarely even watch) and how can you tour a lighthouse anyway? Surely its just a staircase, right?

  • Pulled over next to the famous Great Ocean Road sign and acted like a couple of tourists.


  • Decided to stay at the Great Ocean Road Backpackers in Lorne that night. There are tame parrots everywhere that come right up to you to be fed which is really cute until about 6am when they sit outside your dorm window and squawk.


  • Wondered if parrot goes well with chips.



  • Day Two

    * If someone asked you what you would least expect to see whilst visiting Erskine Falls in Lorne I reckon that a man dressed like a pirate would be quite far up the list. Well, we met a man dressed like a pirate. No, we don't know why either but he seemed nice enough assuming you don't have to be sane to be nice.

  • Whilst stopping for lunch and another "Look, We're On The Great Ocean Road" tourist photo we found an Echidna. Usually these things curl up in a ball and don't move if you get too close to them but this bugger kept crawling towards us with them huge spikes on its back while we were trying to take photos. We backed away before it went ninja on our arses.


  • * Rocked up to Apollo Bay Backpackers. I would so totally recommend this place to anyone, its more like a home than a hostel and the laundry and internet are run on an honesty box system which just makes you want to be honest.

  • Attempted to drink Tooheys on the beach but settled for Next To The Beach on account of the gale force winds.


  • Saw some lesbians. I'm not sure how relevant this is, I just get excited when I'm not the only gay in the village.

  • Day Three

    * Here's an idea, lets forget that heights make us nervous and do the Otways Skywalk, after all it's only 47 metres off the ground on a see-through metal platform. Notice the smile in the photos? Thats actually more of a grimace and the whiteness of the knuckles is almost blinding. If you do check out the photos notice how our hands never leave the railing in any of the pictures.

    * One of my Must Do things in Oz was a helicopter ride over the 12 Apostles. I coaxed Kliff into it and tell ya what, it was so worth it! We did the $120 medium flight which took us over a whole load of Rocks With Names (Yes, I have photos. No, I can't remember what they're all called). Awesome.

  • After spending half the day Really High Up we checked out the 12 Apostles at viewing platform then went down Gibson's Steps to see the first two at beach level because you can't fall off the floor. I know I mock the Aussie obsession with rocks as tourist attractions but even I have to admit they were pretty cool.


  • Stayed at the Ocean House Backpackers in Port Campbell and invited a random lass called Mary out for a beer to show the locals how its done. Apparently its done by drinking lots of beer and feeding loads of money into the video jukebox and dancing to really bad tunes. I believe pool might have been involved at some point but we left that to Kliff, y'know, with it being a man's game an all.


  • Days Four And Five

    * Finished the Great Ocean Road and celebrated with fish and chips in a proper town with shops and traffic and people and all kinds of other scary things then carried on to Adelaide. Instead of taking the sensible, direct route we headed North through the Grampians because I wanted to see the Giant Koala in Dadswell Bridge.

  • Camped in Stawell on day 4 because camping is cheap although we did have to spend an extra $8 on 4 litres of goon to keep us warm and we got woken up by ducks the next day. Next time that happens its Duck Sandwich time.


  • * Saw the Giant Koala that looks like it has a spot of mange then carried on straight to Adelaide and booked into My Place Backpackers who said they had parking. By Parking they meant a few spaces that were likely to be full and if they were you had to park on the road then move the car first thing in the morning to avoid getting a ticket. Hmm. Yeah. Parking. Bastards.

  • Met a lass from Zimbabwe called Toni who gave us a tour of Adelaide's gay pubs on the Saturday. Point to note: Kliff isn't a puff.


  • Kliff is a top bloke though, we got on really well and had similar ideas of what we wanted out of the B100 and the pace we wanted to take it at. All in all, bloody awesome road trip.


    Well that was seven minutes of your life you can't get back wasn't it, if you made it this far you must really like words. I suggest you go away and examine your life and prehaps consider Getting Out More.

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on October 27, 2006 from Apollo Bay, Australia
    from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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    Heading Bush: Day 1 - "We'll Be Pissing In What Now?"

    Port Augusta, Australia


    Left Adelaide: 30/10/06
    Arrived Alice Springs: 08/11/06

    I've been trying to get my arse into gear to write about this 10 day outback tour I did with Heading Bush but you know those Words Don't Do It Justice situations? Well this is one of them. No tour will ever compare to this, seriously, it was possibly the most amazing ten days of my life.


    Top Row: Sile, Hans, Suzanne, Allison, Sam
    Bottom Row: Keith, Emma, Me, Mav, Alex

    Again, I've cheated with dates, the one at the top of the post relates to the day the events took place. I've separated day by day to try and cut down on the sheer amount of words that could potentially occur.


    Task one was getting out of bed after only three hours sleep and too much beer because the previous evening was spent saying bye to Kliff and Toni.

    Task two was attempting to converse in a coherant manner with the people I'd be sharing a cramped jeep with for the next ten days, this was accomplished with minimum drooling which was a bonus.

    Task three was Learning To Sleep In The Jeep. This was abandoned on account of it being rude to drool on people you barely know so we Had Conversations and ascertained that we would be spending the majority of the following ten days relieving ourselves in various holes around the desert.

    It was early afternoon when we learnt how much Mike liked making us walk. We trekked up a small hill to look at some Aboriginal rock art and I use the term "art" loosly. At the risk of offending the deities, its a bit crap isn't it, it looks like a four year old got hold of some chalk and went a bit mental. Come on admit it, you think the same, you just don't want to say it out loud at the risk of sounding like an uncultured swine.

    Most of Day One was spent getting to know each other whilst getting to Arkaba Station (bush camp just south of Wilpena), I don't think I've ever been with a group of people that clicked so quickly and so well, it was a mass of different personalities with the ages ranging from Emma at 18 to Hans at 51 and they all rock. Anyway, soppy moment over because I want to tell you about the toilet that Sam built which is probably the classiest bush dunny in the history of holes in the ground for pooing in. It had a tree branch across it for a seat (which rustled when you sat on it which is actually quite unnerving in the middle of nowhere when its pitch black) and a place to put the bog roll. We contemplated the practicality of a magazine rack with some newspapers or maybe a light hung in the tree then decided that we should probably attempt to rough it a little bit. After all, that's why we parted with our $1400 in the first place.

    And oh my god how comfy are swags?! Swags are like a large, canvas coffin for want of a better and less sinister explanation, you get to fall asleep watching shooting stars, so much better than a tent and they're obscenely comfortable.

    Anyway, congratulations on getting to the end of Day One without slitting your wrists. Day two will be added at some point in the future when I have too much time on my hands again and fancy torturing cyberspace with my crap.

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on October 30, 2006 from Port Augusta, Australia
    from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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    Heading Bush: Day 2 - "Ohhh, My Walla..."

    Port Augusta, Australia


    Today we learnt that Mike is a sadist; He likes to get us up early and make us walk up big hills with the promise that "the view gets better the further up you get."

    Mmmm. Ok then.

    I can't remember how long the actual walk up Mt Ohllsen Bagge (Wilpena Pound) was but I know I'd usually drive that kind of distance, it was all uphill and there was a distinct lack of a pub at the top. I nearly didn't make it but Mike bribed me with cake. I'm so easily bought with a high sugar content.

    And yeah, it was worth it, the view was a bit of alright and the sense of acheivment was fantastic. The cake was pretty good too.

    We spent the rest of the day driving, stopping off at various places of interest and admiring the tans we'd got whilst trekking up a mountain in the scorching heat.

    We headed onto an unsealed road that had a huge sign informing us that all stretches of road were open so that was comforting then. Apparently after a bit of rain it becomes 4WD only and after alot of rain they close it completely and you get hefty fines if you drive on it but as Mike reliably informed us, it never rains in the desert!

    That night we camped at Iga Warta Aboriginal Settlement which has a pool and proper showers. How gutted were we when our tans washed off? Anyway, we had a quick dip where Alex bravely rescued a bat out of the pool using his swimming shorts. I'm not sure who was more traumatised, us or the bat. At least he saw fit to keep his underpants on when he went for a swim.

    That night we sat round the fire and Terance told us about his culture's history, showed us how to cook damper bread (bloody lovely) in hot sand, taught us a couple of songs (including one which became a lunch time anthem) and had us hopping round the fire like retarded kangeroos.

    Thank god for beer.

    Ohhhh my walla,
    It's rumbling, it's tumbling.
    Ohhhh my walla,
    It's rumbling like a big base drum.

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on October 31, 2006 from Port Augusta, Australia
    from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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    Heading Bush: Day 3 - "It Never Rains In The Desert"

    Coober Pedy, Australia


    Little bit nippy this morning, I saw fit to wear a jumper and everything while we headed down to the ochre pits to get painted up like Aboriginals.
    This was loads of fun and really interesting an all. Each colour means something different, like, yellow represents the sun and means rebirth and new beginnings (and who couldn't use one of those every now and then), pink is the colour of lungs and therefore breath, purple means cleansing and so on. We patiently stood there like good tourists while Terance and Sharpie painted us all up in pretty colours.

    Then we headed back to reality, still covered in increasingly itchy ochre and wondering if we'd get beaten up by the locals for taking the piss or something. At was all good though, they took one look at us, smiled and said, "You've been to Iga Warta, then?"

    That obvious?

    Later that day we rocked up to Talc Alf's place. Talc Alf is what happens when you give a talented, creative man too much time to think. He makes these awesome sculptures they're proper good, but the guy has odd ideas about the alphabet and why certain things are called what they're called. Its hard to try and explain when you're not a complete nutter, maybe I'll drop some acid later and see if I can explain what he was on about.

    Now let me tell you about my new spiritual home. Mutonia Sculpture Park is where they have massive winter solstice raves every year, it has random sculptures all over it and I swear down I could feel the energy coming out of the ground, seriously, there was something about this place that got me excited.

    Just me, then.

    Its awesome, just a vast expanse of dirt with sporadic artwork, you can imagine this place going off at the Solstice. Apparently there's going to be a huge rave here when the aliens return to Earth. See you there...?

    It wasn't long after we left here when the clouds got thicker and there was a few spots of rain on the windscreen so we all hopped out to do a rain dance. After all, it never rains in the desert, this could be all the water we see for a while, right, Mike?

    Right?

    We saw some bolts of lightening in the distance and the heavens opened, it was awesome, 11 psyched up people in a jeep, shouting along to Bohemian Rhapsody as the jeep slid through puddles on the unsealed road and lightening raged in the distance.

    One of those Had To Be There Moments I guess...

    We stopped to collect soggy bits of the Old Ghan Railway track to burn for firewood (don't worry, they built a new one already) then pulled over at Curdimurka Railway Siding where we would be staying that night on account of the fact it was restored and had a roof. We were meant to be heading to William Creek which has a floating population of 8 and a pub.

    Yeah yeah, very quaint, we can go to the pub anytime and we had an Esky full of beer and a man with a gas stove and large boxes of food. This was much better.

    Its hard to put into words how amazing this evening was. After the downpour it stopped raining where we were but we had a fantastic view of the storms going on all around us. There was literally nothing, no trees or buildings apart from our railway siding as far as the eye could see so we had an uninterupted, 360 degree view of the lightening going off all around us. Hurrah for Bum-Fuck Nothingness. It was almost constant, we didn't know where to look. Keith got some bloody amzing photos by just pointing and clicking and hoping for the best. I've shamelessly stolen them and put them online but don't worry, Keith. I credited ya ;)

    Me, Allison and Emma decided we were gonna exactly how water resistant the swags were and settled down outside the building to watch the storm as we fell asleep but as the rain got worse it became somewhat apparent that it was a bad idea. I've never been so glad to see a man in blue jocks before, Mike dragged us inside in our swags thus saving us the hassle of actually having to Get Out Of Bed And Move.

    Now if only we could have persuaded him to bring us breakfast in bed the next day.

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on November 1, 2006 from Coober Pedy, Australia
    from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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    Heading Bush: Day 4 - "F**k You, Groovy Grape"

    Coober Pedy, Australia


    On account of the pissing rain all those lovely open unsealed roads were now closed which meant we had to head back down south to the highway.

    We spent the day in the back of the jeep trying to make up lost time and the only place of any vague interest was Salt Lake Hart which is a blindingly white expanse of salt that has bombs and mines hidden all over it. They let you walk on it though and there's only a sign that advises you not to go any further, no fences or anything like that.

    Now maybe I'm just cynical but give a foreigner a camera and tell them they can't go somewhere and before you know it there's limbs scattered all over the place and some poor bugger has to clean that up. I consider myself to be quite sensible (what? Stop laughing, you bastards) and even I followed the 17th deadliest snake in the world for a photo op.

    Day 4 was pretty uneventful but we made up for it that night at Coober Pedy with a party outside the hostel we were staying at which attracted the attention of the locals and of the Groovy Grape tour that were staying next door to us. Weird bunch. The locals and Groovy Grape.

    As we rocked up to the bizarre opal mining own Mike warned us that the girls shouldn't walk alone at night and to watch our step as "They don't get to meet many women round here..." It wasn't clear whether he meant the locals or Big Kev, GG's slightly perverted tour guide we nicknamed Otto.

    After pizza, music and a boogy on the tables we headed over to the Desert Cave which is Coober Pedy's attempt at an underground night club and as Allison pointed out, "underground" doesn't mean its cool, it really is actually underground. Groovy Grape stopped us on the way and said it was closing soon and we should just party with them.

    They lied. We had quite a bit of time there trying to stop locals putting country and western on the juke box, taking over the dance floor, playing air guitar and avoiding Big Kev.

    When we got back the Groovy Grape tour group were tucked up in bed.

    Hardcore party people indeed.

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on November 2, 2006 from Coober Pedy, Australia
    from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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    Heading Bush: Day 5 - "FERAAAAAL!"

    Oodnadatta, Australia


    If you ever need an early morning wake up call simply sleep in a cave next to Groovy Grape. They were up an hour before us and man, didn't we know about it.

    Bloke: Shall we wake that lot up?
    Lass: Well I'm not going anywhere near them!
    Bloke: Yeah, they're feral aren't they. Did you see that party they were having last night...?

    Feral? Us? Too fucking right! And that became our group motto for the rest of the trip.

    By the time we staggered into the sunlight they'd gone, leaving only some pizza boxes stuck under the wipers on the jeep and a drawing of penis in the mud on the bonnet with the caption "Cock Riders."
    We were too amused to wipe it off. It stayed with us until Alice Springs although we did wish we had let their tyres down the previous night like I wanted to.

    Before we left Coober Pedy we were taken on the Opal Mine tour which was actually quite intersting. Coober Pedy (the name is a bastardisation of the Aboriginal phrase meaning "White Man's Burrows") is a fascinating town where everyone lives underground (the houses are a constant 24C without the aid of heating or AC) and owns dynamite. The lass who took us on the tour told us about her childhood where they'd have family nights in front of the TV making bombs for dad. All vehicles that carry the dynomite have to have "Explosives" written on them and Mike reckons he's seen quite a few spelt wrong. Comforting. No wonder if you look closely enough you notice that some of the locals are missing a finger or three.

    Its illegal to mine in the town itself but there are no laws against adding an extra room to your cave and many people have struck it rich by extending their property. It costs about $5,000 for a plot of land then about $20,000 to dig a home out and whatever opals you find on the way are yours.

    Tempting.

    Well it would be if it wasn't in Coober Pedy anyway.

    In the absence of rocks, Australia likes to make a big thing about its Vast Expanses Of Nothingness such as the Moon Plain which is where some films like Pitch Black were filmed. Aaaand that's about all it has going for it, that and a small, pink sign placed there by the Pink Roadhouse in Oodnadatta that reads "Ok theres not a lot to see but photo it anyway."

    So we did.

    Some of Australia's Vast Expanses Of Nothingness are intersected by The Dingo Fence which is a fence about 3300km (the longest in the world dontcha know) that stretches across South Australia, New South Wales and Queensland. Its there to keep the dingos up north and away from the sheep. We took photos of that too.

    Tourists eh? -rolls eyes and tuts-

    Later on we rocked up to the Pink Roadhouse which is a roadhouse that is without a doubt very pink. They provide all kinds of information on how to do the Oodnadatta Track without dying and they sell my favourite things in the world; Tacky Souveniers. I -heart- the Pink Roadhouse.

    One thing I miss as a backpacker is having a nice, hot bath. Even if hostels did provide a tub lets face it, it would always be full and if it wasn't it'd probably be so thick with grime you'd be better off rolling round in a three week old communal bush dunny.

    But who needs a bath when you have Dalhousie Thermal Springs slap bang in the middle of the desert. Its definately a 4WD effort to get there, I'd never take the Falcon but once you've made it across the "Generally Rough" roads its so worth it despite the mozzies that you have to fight your way through when you get out of the pool. Its bliss. Words fail me. 37C, little fish that come and nibble at your dead skin if you keep still enough and the National Park even provides big rubber rings for chilling on.

    What better way to end the evening with a few beers, fish exfoliation and a soak in one of the best places on earth before huddling round Han's candle because Witjira National Park doesn't allow fires.

    We gave Mike our full permission to wake us up before light with the promise we wouldn't beat him with sticks so we could watch the sun rise from the thermal springs.

    See, that's how much we loved this place.

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on November 3, 2006 from Oodnadatta, Australia
    from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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    Heading Bush: Day 6 - "How Many 5 o Clocks In A Day?"

    Kulgera, Australia


    As promised, Mike dragged us out of our swags before the sun even thought about rising so we packed up and jumped in the jeep before our body clocks realised what time it was and rebelled. It was freezing without a fire so I'd had no chance to warm up as I stood staring at the water thinking "its been here all night in the bloody cold, no way can this water be warm..."

    Well if you consider 37C to be Not Warm then no, maybe it wasn't.

    Do you ever have those moments when you realise that you're so perfectly, unconditionally happy that you can't stop smiling? When you can't even think about one single thing in the world to stress about, that everything is just so right and you are in fact the luckiest person alive? That you are so utterly relaxed you could burst and there isn't a single thing in the world that you could change for the better?

    Watching the sunrise over Dalhousie from the comfort of the thermal springs with my feral Heading Bush posse was one of those moments.

    Mike's a fan of skinny dipping so thankfully he got out before us because you just don't need to see your tour guide's penis before breakfast.

    As if our body clocks weren't confused enough by the shocking discovery that there are actually two five o clocks in the day we crossed the border into the Northern Territory which doesn't bother with frivolous things such as daylight savings so we put all our clocks back an hour.

    The first stop was Finke which is a dry Aboriginal settlement so we hid the booze. Aboriginals have serious issues with getting high, there are massive alcohol and solvent abuse (putting paint in a paper bag and sniffing it is called Chroming) issues within most communities and this is why there is no alcohol allowed in Finke. After the booze was banned they started sniffing the petrol so it was replaced with opal petrol which apparently doesn't get you high.
    One of the first things you notice as you jump out of the jeep at the community footy pitch is the litter and broken glass strewn across the place. Then you notice that a lot of the litter is empty, squashed butane cans.

    Yeah, I don't reckon they have that many lighters to fill.

    Anyway, we had a kick around with the kids and by kick around I mean they kicked our arses around and totally beat us in the Aussie rules footy match. They also gave me a slating for following The Power (bloody Crows fans) and one lad, Dylan, was fascinated by my piercings and tats and wouldn't leave me alone.

    Those of you who know me personally know how I feel about children. It was bloody terrifying. *shudders*

    Next stop along the 4WD red dirt roads was the Geographical Centre of Australia which is conveniently located at LAT 25 degrees 36'3.4"S - LON 134 degrees 21'7.3"E. Just in case you were wondering or indeed even cared and if anyone knows what the fuck that even means please let me know. There's even a visitors book, we flicked through is and there was one comment which read "No Groovy Grape here!"

    Does anyone like them?

    We watched the sunset on Day 6 from a bush camp near Kulgera as our bitch... I mean, our beloved tour guide cooked us up a feast on the fire.

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on November 4, 2006 from Kulgera, Australia
    from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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    Heading Bush: Day 7 - "Valley Of The Flies"

    Uluru (Ayers Rock), Australia


    After a few days of sitting in the back of a jeep even we were grateful for the promise of a Really Long Walk which was probably all part of Mike's cunning plan to stop us bitching when he told us it would probably take a couple of hours. Oh come on, we don't know how many circles he drove us in, all these unsealed roads look the same to us, we have to trust this guy who has a penchant for Early Mornings and Big Hills.

    After we'd stopped of at Erlunda for a cuppa tea and to check out the Big Things (an echidna and a frill necked lizard which are kept behind bars for reasons I have yet to ascertain), we'd marvelled at a man mowing the lawn in the middle of the desert at Curtin Springs, laughed ourselves stupid whilst taking photos of Sam mooning Uluru while other tour groups looked on in horror and Susanne had gotten Sticking Things To Claire's Face out of her system we headed on over to Kata Tjuta which is known to the ignortant white man as The Olgas.

    We would be doing the Valley Of The Winds walk through the rocks, we would be taking it at our own pace and damnit we would be enjoying it.

    Actually it was pretty cool. I do enjoy a good hike and it's made all the more bearable with good company. Emma decided she wasn't going to do it on account of her heart condition but me, Allison and Susanne stuck together and had a wicked time wandering through the rocks and enjoying the scenery which I can't describe here. Seriously, check it out for yourself. The photos don't do it justice.

    It wasn't long into the walk when Sam decided he was going to press the pretty button because it looked like the tourist information button you get at train stations. It was actually the Emergency Radio button, the dead giveaway being the large, clear writing above it that read "Emergency Radio."

    No Sam, you'll never live this one down.

    It brought the panicked ranger running. Poor bloke, this kinda thing is probably the highlight of his day, he probably had visions of saving the day and being a hero, imagine his disappointment when he arrived to find that the Americans had been at it again.

    After the walk we didn't quite make it to the viewing platform in time to watch the sunset over Kata Tjuta but we still got some good photos by hanging out of the jeep on the way.

    That night we set up our swags at Yulara which exists solely to cater for visitors to Uluru and the red centre. I have no idea how much is costs to camp here but I bet its not a pretty number to part with.

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on November 5, 2006 from Uluru (Ayers Rock), Australia
    from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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    Heading Bush: Day 8 - "It's All About The Rock"

    Uluru (Ayers Rock), Australia


    Up before sunrise. Again. No matter how many times I do this it never gets any less painful. Today would be all about Uluru (or Ayers Rock for those who haven't quite got with the program) as in the sunrise, the walk and the sunset.

    We cruised past the queues on the way in and joined the tour buses at the viewing point. This was quite a weird experience for us, we'd been used to having the outback to ourselves, we weren't used to having to fight for it against people in clean clothes that just got out of a vehicle that wasn't caked in mud but hey, we're fucking feral, we can deal with it and this is why god gave us elbows. We made our way to the front and joined the masses in gawping at the rock as it started to light up.

    It's definatly one of those moments that digital cameras were invented for, I snapped away and hoped for the best, knowing that 90% of them would be deleted anyway.
    We even managed to check out the moon set and if you can tear your eyes away from The Rock for long enough you can see Kata Tjuta in the background as it starts to light up with the sunrise.

    We fucked around taking photos as the rest of the Tourist Circus dispersed then wandered back to the jeep where Mike had knocked us up some beans and eggy bread. Spoilt, we are. And the look on the other tour buses faces as we made our way back to The Rock with a brew and a cooked breakfast was awesome. So tell me, exactly what does your $250 Sunrise Tour get you?

    Ok, so ever since I found out we were allowed to climb Uluru I wanted to do it. I needed to do it. I know that the Anangu people ask you not to and I understand why but the more you tell me I can't do something the more I want to do it. Why do you think I have so many bloody piercings? I can't connect with this rock by walking round it, I need to walk up it, taking the traditional path used by the Aboriginal ancesters for centuries. Keith and Sile wanted to climb it as well so as soon as they opened the climb we followed the hoardes of Asian tourists up The Rock.

    It was actually quite hectic, the first part is done by hauling yourself up a chain up some very steep rock that's been made smooth by years of people trekking up it. Also, most people only get to the top of the chain then turn round and come back down so not only are you worrying about the people above you falling, you also have to worry about sharing your piece of chain with someone trying to get back down.

    We decided to edge over to the side and let the rest of them do their thing before we made our way to the top of the chain for the first rest of many because Sitting Down is very important in my world.

    I have nothing witty or clever to say about this climb, it was just breath taking. The views are amazing up there and you can even get phone signal so you can call everyone you know and gloat. On account of the rain a few days previous we were lucky enough to see some Shield Shrimp which are ancient looking marine creatures. The eggs lie dormant until it rains then they hatch, mate and die leaving more eggs to lie dormant until the next rainfall. Its surreal enough see water somewhere so hot but to see life in it is amazing. And no, I have no idea how they got up there in the first place.

    We continued the climb, following the painted white line to the highest point of the rock, stopping occasionlly for a sit down or a drink or to take photos of Allison's camera at various points because she'd left it in my bag but we couldn't work out how to use it so instead we took photos of it.

    After we'd safely gotten back down via the chain again (never have I loved a chain so much in my whole life) we chilled for a bit before the sunset then cruised past the big tour buses setting up tables with table cloths and champagne glasses which no doubt would later contain champagne. How bizarre?

    We stumbled out of our mud-caked jeep and cracked open a beer each before heading up to the optimum viewing point where we accosted a man from Slovenia and made him take photos of us and be our friend. The sunset itself was crap but we were too busy having too much fun to care. I kinda pity the people who paid over $200 for a BBQ and a glass of fancy plonk, I mean, do they get a refund if you don't actually get to see the sunset?

    And indeed, do I actually care?



    permalink written by  Koala Bear on November 6, 2006 from Uluru (Ayers Rock), Australia
    from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
    tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and HeadingBush

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