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Typical situation

Inch'on, South Korea


Today I had to pick up the results of my drug test/blood sample from the hospital so it can be submitted to immigration to solidify my legal alien status. Paperwork and hospitals aren't pleasant even at the best of times, so imagine my intimidation today as I tried to recall the name of the hospital and its neighborhood, as well as where I was supposed to go when/if I got there.

The adventure started, as usual, with me trying to negotiate a destination with a justifiably puzzled cab driver, to whom I am still unconsciously speaking Spanish.

Driver: "Ahn-yung ha-sey-o."*
Me: "Ahn-yung ha-sey-o. Um. Serim Hospital. Serim byung-wuhm."
Driver: "Serim okay."
Me: "Okay." (silently fist-pump in my head to congradulate self)
Driver: "[something something] Hangul?" He wants to know if I speak Korean.
Me: "Um...no. Un poco." Dammit. I hold up my thumb and index finger in the universal gesture "only a little bit" and smile apologetically.
Driver: "English teacher?"
Me: "Yes. Si. Um....ney." Third time's the charm.
Driver: (laughing) "Canada?"
Me: "No. Uh, ah-nee-yo. America."
Driver: "America where."
Me: "America...Idaho."
Driver: Blank stare. "America where."
Me: "Umm. North. Up. By Canada."
Driver: (delighted) "Ah! Canadian!"

I sigh. He is so pleased with our cross-cultural exchange that I figure, close enough. Plus, we have made it to the hospital, and a new set of challenges awaits. I walk inside. I've noticed that all hospitals and airports are essentially the same; just follow the question-mark signs and you can usually survive. This time, however, the plan backfired. I found a question mark sign, which did, of course, lead me to Information. And I'm certain there was a ton of incredibly useful info there, for those of us who speak Korean. I wandered through the halls aimlessly for about five minutes, trying to come up with a plan. The only thing I could see in English was the Ultrasound room. Thankfully, I don't need that. But what to do? The obvious answer was to call my boss, the principal of our school. I'm sure I could have put him on the phone with a nurse and hashed this whole thing out.

But I couldn't do that, because I have this thing about asking for help unnecessarily. I like to do things on my own. I like to be capable. Or, as one (ex)boyfriend put it, "You are frustratingly independent." Fair enough. I don't necessarily see this as a flaw, but I will concede that it sometimes makes things harder for me than they need to be.

So I went up to the nurse station, prepared to look like an idiot, once again. "Do you speak English?" A vain hope. No. Time to pantomime. Rather than go with my initial Mork-and-Mindy idea and hope they got "alien" out of my dance, I got out my passport, and made a motion with my thumb and left forearm that either communicated "blood test" or "mainlining heroin" to the nurse. Either way, after a ten-minute wait, I was redirected to someone important that spoke enough English to get me my required documentation. "You are very normal," she said. "You will be okay." I know she meant only that my tests came back clean, but God bless her nonetheless.

Inspired by my success, I went to the Lotte Mart (giant one-stop shopping complex a la Wal-Mart) and bought some real coffee and a French press. They generally only drink instant coffee here, which doesn't cut it, but I didn't know how to use a press. Time to learn.

  • Note: all my Korean dialogue is my mangled phonetic version of what I hear. It bears practically no resemblance to the actual language. I have to acknowledge this because the Hangul alphabet, to Koreans, is what the confederate flag is to Southerners. You just don't mess with it. Because God gave it to them.


  • permalink written by  alli_ockinga on February 15, 2009 from Inch'on, South Korea
    from the travel blog: I go Korea!
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    Ahn-yung = Hello?

    I think I learned this from Arrested Development

    permalink written by  Jared on February 22, 2009


    I'm continually amazed by the fact that you can navigate the social scene over there with gestures and broken Spanish. And PS I was so right about how you should just pretend to be Canadian and then roll with it!

    I'm glad that the Korean healthcare system says that you are classified as "Normal." They obviously don't know about the misalignment of your moons . . .

    Love you!

    permalink written by  Ryan on February 23, 2009

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    Hey everyone! In February 2009 I left the Pac Northwest for South Korea to teach English for a year. This is what I'm up to! Keep in touch!

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