View From 12 Mile Delta Campground

Snow On The Mountains

Yep, that's snow on them there hills.

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Ah Friday the 13th, what a perfect day to throw yourself into fast moving water without a raft. Shane had decided to rent a mountain bike and cycle down an off road hill very very fast but last time I went cycling I felt like I'd been kicked in the cunt for three days so instead of that me and Nat went river boarding where I ACTUALLY got kicked in the cunt by flailing people wearing flippers.

Allow me to explain river boarding.

They deck you out in a wet suit, helmet, flippers and a bodyboard and are taught a few essentials such as the "rapids position" where you prop yourself up on your left arm, hold onto the board at the top with your left hand and hold the board into your hips with your right hand thus becoming "one unit with your board."

In theory anyway. After only the little practise runs my left arm was ready to give in. It fucking hurt.

Rapids Position

After they've had you swimming round in circles a couple of times, taught you how to get back on your board if you fall off in the rapids and they've rescued the ones that got swept away they show you how to relieve cramp as it can be a problem with all the kicking you have to do. The best way to stop it is to stretch it out but other ways to avoid it are apparently salt, pineapple, avoiding alcohol the night before or by simply not launching yourself into rapids clutching only a bodyboard. So basically, yeah. That's river boarding. Like white water rafting but without the raft. It's really really hard work but shit it's fun!

As I said, its hard on your left arm and its hard to maintain the rapids position. All you really have to do it point your board the way the guides point, kick when they tell you to kick and try and keep in the middle of the river. Easier said than done. Just as you think you've got the hang of it another panicked river boarder with lungs full of water bowls into you and throws you off course. There's always a guide to rescue you though, just as you think aw fuck it, I'll never get out of this one of them comes out of nowhere and tows you back into the middle of the river.
Going head first into the rapids at eye level is fantastic an all, you just look up and see this huge wall of water before it swallows you and forces you under, all you can do it hold onto your board, kick like your life depends on it and let the river take you where ever it wants you to go. There's no point in fighting it, its bigger than you are.

So much better than the white water rafting although I don't think my left arm will ever forgive me for it and I cant say as I'm particularly good at it. Mind you I'm not very good at bodyboarding either, it took me ages to work out I was meant to be on the board as opposed to stood with my back to the waves with my eyes closed waving the board in front of me.

Once you're through the rapids and into the calmer waters they bring a jetski over and tow you two by two to their water playground where you get to play on the slide, the swing or rock jumps but they make you do it in full gear which makes you feel like you're weighed down with lead. One of the lads was complaining of cramp all up his calf and thigh. Ha, yeah, now try that once a month every month for about 40 years mate, see how you cope then!

About To Take On Big Al

After we were changed and back in town we met Shane. Oh oh oh! And one more food recommendation; You have to get a Fergburger while you're in town, they're huge. Seriously. Fucking massive, you could feed a small African village or derail a train with one of these beasts. There's a whole lot of dead stuff on that there burger and you're partial to stuff that used to have a face then this is THE place to eat.

Aaaanyways, once I'd been defeated by my Fergburger we armed ourselves with several cans of DEET and headed towards Milford Sound located deep in the heart of sandfly country.

written by  Koala Bear on February 13, 2009 from Queenstown, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and SouthIsland
Send a Compliment

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I laughed so much I don't think I'll sleep tonight, you really should be published

written by  Mum on March 10, 2009

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Thanks, mum :) Tho I'm amused that after nearly three years of blogging you finally chose to comment on the post that contains two examples of the word "cunt" as well as various other expletives :D

written by  Koala Bear on March 11, 2009

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